Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's strange.

I was starting to read New Moon. While I had been reading, ever since Twilight, I feel like, in someway, I had fallen in love with Edward along with Bella. Nothing serious or crazy--but I have this thing for being able to imagine myself into someone position very easily, which I think makes me a good sympathizer. With the book written from Bella's point of view, it wasn't hard.

In New Moon, Edward leaves Bella. He comes back, don't worry, I spoiled myself by reading all I could on websites before I was sure I could get a copy. Anyway, Bella of course had to go through this agonizing phase of losing Edward.

As I read on, it wasn't like I lost Edward along with Bella, like how it used to be. Somehow, it was like I was remembering, reliving the way I knew how it was to lose someone.The pain spins in a cold whirlwind, binding your body from head to foot and then landing forcefully on your heart, like it's being pulled away. It happens when you close your eyes, or say his name, or cry for him. And then you go numb. Seemingly stiff, empty, hopeless, desperate. I knew that feeling.

In a way, I was feeling it for Bella. In other ways, I felt it for myself. Those feelings collided, and it was like I was thrust into Bella's world, but I didn't follow the storyline. I thought differently about him, how I wanted him back and how to realize the pain. I wasn't sure who my Edward was, and relief swept over me when I came to the fact that no one was.

When Edward left Bella, he took every material thing she had of him: a birthday present, her pictures of him. He said, so that it would be like he never existed. I felt like it was the stupidest thing I ever heard in my life. I wanted to kick Edward. I knew it was all he could do, because he wanted to keep Bella from hurting. But he ended it, and they loved each other. Although it would have been hard for him to go knowing what they had, it was unfair of him to completely rip her apart, almost truly forbidding her to keep on loving him. He may quit, but he had no right to tell her to. It might be for her own good, but he had no right to grab the decision from her.

I don't why it suddenly mattered.

A few minutes ago I ignored it as natural that I reacted to this story this way. The next second, I had something to say.

I wonder why?

It's just strange.

Kheeit.
Hiii. Thanks for coming.
I'm Kit. I'm the girl kind of Kit.
I love blue and noodles and stars and barefootedness.
I'm a Bible Baptist. I wear skirts ALL the time and have lots of heels and love J-e-s-u-s.
I'm SEVENTEEN. I can't believe I'm so old.
I'm a Biology major and it is ridiculously awesome.

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