Basta, eto yung blogpost about UPCAT. :))

Monday, August 04, 2008

[Pictures to come later]

"How was your trip to the the boondocks?" asked Sir Desi this morning, after exams, referring to the weekend's UPCAT. Hindi ako nakasagot ng maayos. Teka, sumagot nga ba ko?

Upfront and straightforward, I have to say UPCAT was the most traumatic experience I've had so far.

The day before the exam:

I broke the most important rule of all: I crammed.

Fat lot of good it did me, too. I'm not being sarcastic. The cramming, and the guilt of cramming, was worth it. Dere-derecho, from waking up till sleeping, from Math Sheet # 15 to Physics Sheet # 17, natapos ko yun. *BOW* And it didn't block up my brain. In fact, it prepared it, got it used to the tension and the heat of the pressure. I therefore conclude that cramming as a disadvantage is not applicable to all. Yan ang gagawin kong pang-thesis, WALANG AAGAW!

Shopping with my dad was the best. From 5pm-7pm, nag-UPCAT shopping kami ni Papa.
Sa NBS,
-3 Stabilo Exam Grade pencils na hindi ko nagamit dahil gusto nila ng Mongol # 2 pencils (why didn't I pay attention?),
-Stabilo Exam Grade eraser,
-MAPED sharpener.

Sa grocery naman...
-1 bag of Hershey's Chocolate Kisses,
-1 canister of chewing gum,
-1 bag of Oreos,
-1 bag of Cheezy chips,
-1 bottle of Gatorade.

Sobrang nakonsensya ako. Ang laki nang nagastos ni Papa sa mga luho ng pagiging freak ko.

At home, we also prepared a sandwich and a bottle of water. Hindi exaj. Takot talaga kasi akong maubusan ng oras, antukin, gutumin, uhawin, at ma-mind block. I'm happy I took all those precautions.

In between sheets, when I woke up and before I went to sleep, I peppered my time with prayers and Bible reading. When my throat started to swell up from the pressure, when I started to feel crappy, when I felt like I couldn't go on, it kept me. :D

THE DAY. Har. Har.

I woke up, and five threatening letters appeared before me even before I could open my eyes. Well, you know. UPCAT. I couldn't believe I was making such a big deal out of it, but hey, it was a make-or-break exam, and it was the school I've always wanted to get into, and all.

Ang usapan namin: attend kami ng Sunday School, tapos kain sa Tugbok, tapos derecho na UP. After the exam, derecho ulit balik sa church.

People were suprised to see me at church; akala nila hindi na ako mag-aattend. I felt butterflies the size of helicopters and everything, but as soon as Sunday School started I felt at ease. I couldn't forget what I was going to do, but in the midst of the fiery visions of Revelations, it didn't seem to matter. Pero balik din kaagad yung excitement after. Before I went, people wished me well. I knew most of them were against even just applying to UP, because it was like opening myself to temptations and worldliness. I knew they all knew--I knew there were people who were really concerned, and others who just liked to gossip about it. It was a heavy burden to know I might not have the blessing of my church with me. But I knew I opened up to this because I was looking for God's call. We left before the Worship Service started. I knew I studied, and I knew I prayed. I couldn't ask for anything other I could have done it.

When we got to Tugbok, where else would we take our lunch but at one of the HITO! outlets? I ~~was~~ am a huge fan. I ate 2. :))

I thought we would still have lots of time. We were bound to arrive around a quarter to 12, 45 minutes before I was due. I thought I would still be able to chat with the morning examinees, and be able to wish everyone God Bless before we all went in. When we got there, quarter it still was, alright, but everyone was already in line. I chatted a little with Dianne, waved to Jose, Mimi, Monica, Bevs, Stacey, and some people I knew from the review.

Ang cute naman. Pakalat-kalat lang yung mga pinagkainan ng Durian. Nasa stairs, nasa sahig, nasa bibig. :)) Sa Davao lang yan, dude.

Ayos yung proctor namin. Average woman, cropped hair, neon pink polo shirt, BIG attitude. Hanep, iba talaga pag UP. She made my quote of the day. And she'll be part of this memory as long as it is: The woman who scared me to the size of a Higgs-Bozon particle.

"When you enter those glass doors, there's no turning back."

Manakot ba??? I immediately imagined we were on a conveyor belt to be manufactured into mindless dolls or something. :)) Grabe, for one woman, dalang-dala niya yung role niya. Parang siya kasi yung pinaka-head ng mga proctor. And tindi ng respeto ng mga tao sa kanya, pero sobrang bait niya sa mga colleagues niya. I wondered if she might be my teacher if ever sa UP Min ako, and if I would come out to be as strong a personality as she is. They split us up, kahit nagkukumpul-kumpol yung mga magkakakilala; they found a way to trick us into separating. Mautak talaga.

When I got into one of the AVRs that was our testing room, unang pumasok sa isip ko "magiging classroom ko kaya 'to???" The tension was thick in the air. Aside from not the turning back thing, we weren't allowed to talk after entering the glass doors. Grabe ngang joke afterward sa pamilya nung nadiscover namin na apat na oras akong hindi nagsalita. :))

The orientations took forever. It was a horrible anti-climax. I felt like sinking, burrowing into the earth. Some part of me, at peace. Pero meron talagang side na talagang palagas nang palagas yung consciousness ko.

The exams were as follows:
Language Proficiency
Science
Math
Reading Comprehension

Everything went smoothly. I was so thankful for my review classes and the three years of education I've had in high school. But I started breaking out in hives come middle of Math.

Pinaghalong mind block at pure "HUH?!?". May part na sunud-sunod na nagskip muna ako. Mangiyak-ngiyak na talaga ako. I stuffed my chewing gum and and chocolate into my mouth: sugar revs up your mind, chewing gives your thinking momentum. I squirmed in my seat. I huffed out prayers in staggered breaths. I insecurely looked up at the time remaining markers in front, kahit malayo pa at hindi pa nga sila nagco-countdown. When I went back to some questions I missed, I got further, pero meron talagang kahit naka-ilang solve ako, dead end talaga yung mga solution ko. At the 2-minute mark, I surrendered and took the one-letter tip for Math from the review (can't say which letter. Contract and everything.). Then I left that behind for Reading Comprehension, which thankfully went as smoothly as the two first subtests.

Sa totoo lang, except nga for those few minutes in Math na talagang tumagaktak pawis ko sa kaba, I enjoyed that exam. And cute nung questions, promise. I loved the ensaymada poem. I finished at exactly 5:12pm, 6 minutes to the end of the exam and to freedom.

Walking out of the building into the atrium, everyone shifted into blank mode, as if we really were manufactured into mindless dolls. Chatter filled the atrium, and we knew we were going to join them soon. But the walk from the room and out those glass doors again was almost apocalyptic.

Malay ko kung anong pinag-muni-minuhan nila, pero ako, ito: There it was. There it all was. 3 months of review and preparation. All the hassle, stress, pressure. All the uncertainties and burdens it loaded into me, everything. It all summed itself up in 4 hours, in one green answer sheet, in five letters. It was done. Now we agonize for the next 6 months. Yipee.

At that thought, I went back to normal. I found my batchmates. Grabeng kantiyawan. Akala mo sinabihan na kaming hindi kami pumasa. We were so happy, complete with the shining eyes and I-don't-care-how-loud laughter. It was over, for Pete's sake. May exam man bukas na hindi namin napag-aralan, may exam man kaming kakatapos lang na baka wala namang katumbas na katuturan sa buhay namin sa kabila ng lahat ng effort na binuhos namin, in those moments, worn-out, frustrated and finally free, grabe--ANG DALDAL TALAGA NAMIN. :))

"Ang yayabang pa natin, "saan kang campus nag-apply?" "Diliman, pare, DILIMAN!!!" Ha! Eh kung makapasa pa tayo dito sa Mindanao, himala na!!!"

"Yung Maaaaath!!! Nosebleed!!!"

When my dad asked Jose how he found the exam:
"Madali lang po, sir. MADALING TULUGAN."

I initiated the picture-taking. Sa totoo lang, wala kami lahat sa mood for photo ops (HUWAAAAAT??? First time!). Pero pinagbigyan nila ako lahat: nagpapicture kami with Mr Oblation.

Speaking of which, hindi talaga pinagsasawaang topic ng kontrobersya yun.

Papa: "Tatay yan ni Fernanado Poe, Jr.!!!"
Kami ni Mama: "Huh? Namaaaaan."
(NOTE: Sino nga ba yun?)

Ako: "Um, saan tayo magpapapicture, sa harap, o pwedeng sa likod na lang?"
Jose: "SA HARAP!!! Yun nga yung point, eh!!!"

Si Kuya someone-I-forgot-SORRY!: "Kunan SIYA ng buo?"
Bevs: "Syempre po, kahit pugot na ulo namin."

Ako: "Aaahhh. Ngayon ko lang natitigan. May dahon pala yun."
Mama and Jose, different instances, same reaction: "Ano ka ba, syempre!"

:))

Got to church afterwards. On the way, chika kami ng parents ko.

(After relaying the Math tragedy and fears of failure)
Mama: "Okay lang anak. Ako kampante ako."
Ako: "Aba, buti ka pa!!!"

My parents asked me kung gusto ko nang umuwi, what with the day and the exams the following day. Pero hindi ko makaya. Naghahanap talaga ako. I was not disappointed. Sa church, I was so fulfilled by the Word. Mahaba yung outline nung message, pero hindi na ako takot kung meron mang support ang church o wala, dahil hindi naman sila ang maaasahan ko; okay lang kung pasa o hindi, kung saang college at anong course; as long as He leads, I will follow.

I went to sleep, knowing that for the rest of my life...

...HINDI NA AKO PWEDENG UMULIT NG UPCAT. Yeaaabaaaaa.

There. That was my UPCAT experience. Tell me yours? ;)

And if you don't have one, boy, you missed out on a lot. :D