Faith, trust, and pixie dust. ;)

2010-04-06T19:13:00.001+08:00

Father,

I am sorry.
How do I start again?

2010-04-05T15:41:00.002+08:00

I messed up.

I didn't feel like praying because I felt so unworthy to come to His throne of grace, even though I knew it was the only way, but I kept putting it off. I was so very ashamed.

The first thing that entered my mind was these words from a song:

"shameful failure and loss"

So I looked up the song in the songbook, my mind too fuzzy to remember on my own. I needed to know what the rest of the lyrics were, because if the song says something about failure and loss, it must say something about getting out of that as well, because anyone but my great, almighty Father God would allow failure and loss to be the end.

And then I found it. The song title is Jesus, I Come.

The line belongs to the second verse.

Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus I come, Jesus I come.
Into the glorious gain of the cross,
Jesus I come to Thee.

And then I start crying the tears that were long overdue.

How??? How could simply coming to Him from shameful failure and loss suddenly become glorious gain of the cross??? How could that happen??? How is that possible??? How could what I have done be acceptable and redeemable???

But I know the answer.

He loved me, and gave Himself for me.

It is that simple. It is that simple rule that broke all the others.

Thank You.

Forgive me.

I love You, because You first loved me, and taught me how.

Thank You.

2010-04-05T15:40:00.002+08:00

I love You anyway.

-I say to Him now, because two thousand years ago, He said the same thing and died on the cross for me.

And I must carry up my own cross too.

Last, promise.

2010-03-02T00:22:00.002+08:00

Oh fudge.

I didn't catch March 1st and my March 1st post is under 2nd. That is crappy.

Oh well. They day is never over until I crash to sleep is what I always say.

2010-03-02T00:09:00.002+08:00

Okay. Breathe slow.

I'm on a high from sleeping all afternoon after realizing how knocked out I was from the irrational schedule of the past weekend because of the Camiguin field trip. Event chain right there.

I am whizzing through studying and blogging and I think I'll be doing this all night, but as for now there has been a lot more blogging. Is this what coke-induced writers feel like when they write with their hearts beating like there's no end? However this is not coke, but a sort of jet lag, only its, um college lag. I think that word is gonna be in my vocab forever.

I keep wanting to tell all but then my brain always just narrows down to a few kiss-untold phrases that never really sum up to the thing. hence the string of unsettled posts.

But now I think I've finally caught my tongue on just the eureka I needed to decipher how I'm feeling, and it's one word.

Honey, I'm feeling super. ;)

2010-03-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

It's March 1st and although it may be kind of late I am HOPEFUL.

I learned something.

2010-03-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

Had a fantastic weekend of running all over Camiguin, including the shuttle back and forth. I think this suddengetaway/field trip was the inspirtion for this new thought.

I can be everything I dream to be.

Alicia Keys said that
"I don't ever need to be just one thing ever. I don't ever WANT to become just one thing."

I draw a fine line on having my way and following God's will. But I know He wants me to be happy and has a beautiful and amazing future for me slated in His will that I just have to figure out. First semester of college was a heartbreaking acceptance of choosing the right path and turning my back on writing. Second semester was letting go and coming into the steps of beocming a good doctor. Though I haven't made much of that yet, I'm pretty sure now that I'll try my very bestest. Because now I know exactly what I can become in His guidance. I'm not yet sure I'm set up fofr this fabulous dream of mine but I'm a hundred percent sure that it is possible. I'm only finding out the magnitude of God's power and not imposing my dremas on His perfect will.

I can be a writer, an artist, a cook, an entrepreneur, and a doctor. I could even become an astronaut if I wanted to.

I thought that I would have to turn my back on writing for good. I didn't see how I could fit both together. I envisioned myself doing both someday, but I didn't know how I could do it now.

It's so hard to explain but I just know it. And I am just so blessed. :D

A Higher Call

2010-02-15T21:40:00.003+08:00

Everywhere we turn men are seeking for a prize
Searching for significance in each other's hearts
Fighting for their right, striving harder for some cause
Hoping to be recognized, waiting for applause

I'm reaching for a higher goal
One holy motive moves my soul
My greatest passion, that I might live my life in God's control

A higher call, a greater reason to live
A higher call, a brand new reason to give
Called to live my life for Jesus Christ
I give my all to a higher call

Helping hurting hearts, bringing hope to empty lives
Going forth with brokenness, sharing Jesus Christ
Holding to the truth, standing boldly for the right
Piercing through the wickedness with this sort of light

I am committed to this cause
I count my earthly gains but loss
My one desire, that I might now the power of His cross

A higher call, a greater reason to live
A higher call, a brand new reason to give
Called to live my life for Jesus Christ
I give my all to a higher call

We Are Called to Make a Difference

2010-02-15T19:46:00.002+08:00

We Are Called to Make a Difference

Everywhere you turn
Men are ruining their lives
They're searching for some happiness to fill them empty hearts
Everyone needs a witness who will stand up unashamed
Who will dare to make a difference
Who will go in Jesus' name

CHORUS
I am called to make a difference
In a world that needs to change
I am called to be a spokesman for the Name Above All Names
Called to bear the cross of Christ
Called to give Him all my life
I will give my world a chance and I will make
Yes I will make a difference

I am not my own
I belong to Jesus Christ
And I have found His peace and joy has filled my empty
And now He calls, yes He calls me gently
To surrender all I am
To go and make a difference
To take a loving stand, a loving stand

CHORUS
I am called to make a difference
In a world that needs to change
I am called to be a spokesman for the Name Above All Names
Called to bear the cross of Christ
Called to give Him all my life
I will give my world a chance and I will make
Yes I will make a difference

Double dutch on the concrete

2010-02-09T09:50:00.003+08:00

Earlier this morning I told my mom about this time in high school with my friends about how when we come to a part of the conversation and I have to say the word BECAUSE, I would launch into a amped "because because because because BECAAAAAUUSE... The wonderful wizard of Oz!" In fact, I was singing it right before I told the story. And my friends would go "haay. Nawala nanaman yung pinag-uusapan namin." (Haaay. We lost the conversation again.)

And then my mom tells me, "yung anak ko, utak fairy tales pa rin." (My daughter still has fairy tales on her mind.

And then it kind of dawned on me that fairy tales is not a very grown up thing, and its like I'd outgrown fairy tales.

But man. I can't help it. I love sunshiny, happy stuff. :D

Little girls double dutch on the concrete...

Oh.

2010-02-06T21:07:00.002+08:00

Why is it that some people think they're cool by being cold and blank?

We were meant to be surprised and fascinated and shocked and to say, OH.

2010-02-06T15:10:00.001+08:00

I'm coping. Studying now.

XD

2010-02-06T13:14:00.001+08:00

I am PANICKING because I have exam on Monday and the slides that our teacher gave that we need for reviewing are TOTALLY MESSED UP.

:o

Why?

2010-02-06T11:01:00.003+08:00

Why in the world am I trying so hard to blog again?

Well. Like most writers I like the sound of my own voice. Haha!

But not really.

I feel like this is an old love I'd forgotten. ♥

...

2010-02-06T10:39:00.001+08:00

I think...
I think...
I don't know how to think anymore.

I've forgotten how to blog.
All I know is how to reblog and make shoutouts.

I don't like it!
I feel inarticulate.

Rooaaaaar.

Inspiration.

2010-02-03T21:48:00.003+08:00

There was so much inspiration going on today that I was inspired to restart my BLOG.

Details, details. Details? Later.

Au revoir, mon amour. ♥

2009-06-03T11:14:00.001+08:00

I MOVED.

Please reroute to Fingertaps. :D

Something from my journal.

2009-04-08T02:46:00.000+08:00

YES, I still have a journal. But it's not official. Kasi, I only go online in the early morning. So, if I have have something to write, I just write it in my old school notebook instead of blogging it. Besides, most are just little snippets from TV or something that popped into my head, so it wouldn't really be something to fill up a blog post very much. Yeah, I'm a freak and all, I know...

By the way, I don't put dates. Instead, I put Day 1, Day 2... It started from the first official day of summer, the morning after Seniors' Night.

Day 9 - Oh blue GTech, where art thou? ...and... Half-baked Sunrise.

I MIRACUOUSLY wake up early enough* to catch the sun rise. But it was a half-baked sunrise: not the kind that spills out into the sky and pours into your windows and fills up your eyes (poem alert right there) kind of sunrise; just the kind that gives dawn a blue sheen, and then the sunlight just cracks through the sky. No grand entrance today, just a sweet, blue, silent arrival.

WHERE IS GTECH?!?! Kung kailan maayos yung kwarto ko, saka naman siya mawawala.

*It was the first thing in my "eternally long to-do list" (see previous post), the one that was supposed to help me change, to see the sun rise.

...
...
...

Yun lang.
Wala na kong masabi.
Good morning. :D

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

2009-04-07T03:54:00.000+08:00

Exhibit A - Sam and me, talking, obviously pre-graduation. Church, by the iron gates.

We were talking about college.
Specifically, we were talking about leaving for college.
The thing is, hardly anyone in church moves away, because of, well, the church.
It's a good thing.
However, for college, we were talking about changing, renewing ourselves, "reinventing", as our Entrep teacher Maam Jocy calls it.
We both talked about wanting to get away.
And Sammi said something like this:
"How do we change here when the people around us know us, and don't trust us and will not be able to accept us when we start changing?"
Nice hit, Druggie.

Exhibit B - Me, talking to my parents. Around graduation. Dining table.

Kit: I just thought, you know, that...I wanted to change for the better, in college. And how could I do that, when the people here will not listen, will not believe I can change?
Them: *went on yammering about something completely different*

Exhibit C - last night.

Inspired out of the blue, I realized that it had been a week since summer officially started and that I have just whiled away my time. So I came up with an eternally long to-do list. I even set up an alarm. I was so proud, and I was feeling so hopeful, and like I could finally stop moping around and staring off and get a move on life, on becoming that someone I wanted to be.

Exhibit D - This morning. In our room. I was semi-awake. This did the semi out of it, though.

...well, I don't really know what to say. It's kind of painful to recall, repeat and then type what they said. I'm sorry.

But there they were, complaining about me and my miserable failures and the things I couldn't do, and wouldn't do. Maybe it was in a concerned parent way, maybe in jokey way for them, but it hurt. I opened my eyes and felt like a fresh packet of tears was unsealed along with it. My head ached trying to stop crying, I put a pillow over my head to muffle the whimpers, to pat off the tears. When they left, I teared and whimpered and snot all I wanted to. It was painful, and I needed a way out. I tried reading a verse, but the phone rang, they went in, and I couldn't take it. I ran downstairs, sat on a stair step, and saw the computer and just felt like wording it out.

And here I am.

I was feeling, college, schmollege.

I feel like my mistakes have set the rest of my life for me. Mistakes that were wrong, sad decisions, mistakes that were honest mistakes, mistakes that were out of stupidity, so many, many mistakes. Is it so difficult to believe someone can and wants to change for the better? How do I change my life when no one around me thinks it's possible for me? It's so hard to see through all that and find a reason to change. It is so difficult, so very difficult, especially the people who love you and that you love, those you thought knew you and would accept you.

I am just so tired of hearing my mistakes thrown in my face. So very tired, so very burdened, so very sick of it all. Despite any apology, or solution, or change, there is no changing anyone's mind. I am my failures. My failures must embody the person who brought them, I guess. And so it does.

I take a breath and my chest feels like it weighs a ton.

And so no matter what they say and no matter what it takes and no matter the fact that I am on my own on this and no matter my mistakes, I will change.

Lamentations 3:19-27
Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall.
My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me.
This I recall to mind, therefore have I hope.
It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is Thy faithfulness.
The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord.
It is good for a man that he bear the yoke of his youth.

Inspired.

2009-04-06T07:12:00.000+08:00

CREDITS: Inspired by the Rising Star of Blogging, Mike Villar, introduced by Van, the most amusing of my old blog buddies waaay back in Blogspot.

I proudly present:

Tthings/terms only DCHS students would understand:
PS. Sorry, pero parang latter students lang ang makakarelate, except if teacher ka o talagang napakadalas mong bumalik sa Alma Mater mo.

1. When we refer to our school bell as "ting-ding-ding-ding-ding..." (teka, baka ako lang...)
2. When we say Ma'am Beng accompanied with a shudder, a face, or just pure fear.
3. Why you will never want to see 14 displayed on the AC thermostat. That is when girls scream ape mad and guys shrug and laugh. (I dunno with others, but we ~~get~~ got that a lot from our seating neighborhood.)
4. Why we can be late on Wednesdays, why we should never be late on Mondays and Fridays (Mondays na nga lang ngayon eh).
5. Ahia B said with a squeal. (I call to attention girls of particular batches...)
6. What "public apology" means and why it's usually done in MAPEH Productions.
7. What in the world cubby holes/cubicles are.
8. Why superheroes include Manong Edgar and Kuya Jason.
9. Why Pastor Abam means terror, especially to those who have reason to.
10. Who the Chicken Boys are and why they are school renowned.
11. Why in the world we have lots of ridiculous, redundant stairs.
12. The difference between Auditorium and AVR.
13. Why being absent is not a good thing at all.
14. The absolute supreme relevance of the times 9:00-9:20, 11:50-12:40, 2:40-3:00, and of course, 5:00. These are the sole reason why we have wall clocks.
15. What love letters are, and why receiving them is not a good thing AT ALL.
16. Kung bakit tinitingala si Joel Maglantay.
17. Why girls go to the stair landings of the old building with combs and powder presses.
18. Why Com Lab 1 means luck.
19. That the fire escape door is almost always locked, so it is not a cute joke to hide there.
20. Bakit importante ang Empty Room.
21. Why, since last year, everyone's favorite word is PANINI.
22. Maraming nasu-suspend dahil pumupunta sila sa clinic.
23. Why even high school students have nap time aka pagkatapos ng oral sa Chinese.
24. Why tarpaulins are coveted possessions.
25. Which Chinese teacher has a crush on Lucio Tan.
26. Kung sino/ano/saan si/ang "Nameless" sa canteen. (Clue sa hindi maka-gets: Marisa Ong.)
27. Can remember what/who Jodan's is.
28. That we have our very own Blue House at hindi lang si Bear sa Playhouse Disney.
29. Why there are two versions of the school song and why the second one is sung louder than the first.
30. Kung sino si "Praning" at si "BamBam". (I'm sorry. I have nothing against them. These are, HONESTLY, terms of endearment. :D )
31. What the hell Hillstar is.
32. Where the super secret toothbrush-an is.
33. That there is a gym on the third floor, officially referred to as "sports complex".
34. Bakit nakakapagod mag-Computer class.
35. Kung sino ang PINAKAGWAPO sa buong school, sa buong mundo, sa buong kalawakan. Hindi pwedeng makatakas sa kaalaman nyan.
36. The memorized smell of Duplo.
37. The utter importance of whether there is half an inch of design on the bottom of your ID that says "LUNCH PASS".
38. Ding How. 'Nuff said.
39. That every single room in the building is named, and has a Chinese subtitle.
40. The one thing you will remember from Chinese class for good is how to say you are going to the CR to people who only understand Chinese--because of application. No Chinese, no CR, pare...
41. Hot plates are LETHAL.
42. Why we are Gaisano Mall's favorite suki.
43. Why most everyone's last names are monosyllabic.
44. The following are direly look up to: Kangaroo Cafe, Pritong Manok, [insert some alumni's business here]...
45. Obey and be blessed. And that we ALL love Maam Leo.
46. Connive ang buong school sa brand ng SIM card. Alam niyo bang tayo ang pinakamalakas magconsume ng Sun sa lahat ng school (as far as I know)???
47. Our cabinets and closets are stuffed with DCHS shirts. Go count them. It is also good radar tool to get spotted/spot DCHS fellow students from 20 feet away in malls.
48. When we go out with non-DCHS people, we are usually dubbed goody two shoes, because we do not do all the mind-whopping ridiculous suicidal things they do. We're Christians, remember? And good for us.
49. Why most of us sprout consciences going out on Friday evenings instead of CYF.
50. A wordless love for silly, stinky, loveable ol' Davao Christian High School.

I can't believe I got to fifty. I started out with, like, three. Haha! ;p

I stop at fifty because it's a pretty number. :D So if you have your own, add more if you must. ;)

Inspired: The 50 Things/terms only DCHS students would understand.

2009-04-06T07:10:00.000+08:00

CREDITS: Inspired by the Rising Star of Blogging, Mike Villar, introduced by Van, the most amusing of my old blog buddies waaay back in Blogspot.

I proudly present:

Things/terms only DCHS students would understand:
PS. Sorry, pero parang latter students lang ang makakarelate, except if teacher ka o talagang napakadalas mong bumalik sa Alma Mater mo.

I'm crying.

2009-04-04T06:46:00.000+08:00

I'm tearing up. Almost like boohoohoo. There is a stack of rumpled-up tissues of nose-blowing and tear-wiping over there. And more keep coming. I can't help it!!! Aaaahhh!!! It's just so hard. Really, really hard.

Ang hirap pala magcontact lenses noh?

I got my contact lenses yesterday. I'm trying contacts for six months, because the package has three sets of contacts that last for two months each. It's really cheap -- 2,500, the whole thing, plus 270 for the solution which comes with a free case -- and guess what? {areho pala kami ng contacts ni Kris Aquino. Do I have license to be snotty and controversial for no reason at all now? Just kidding. ;p

And my doctor is really nice, even when I keep dropping my contacts and it takes forever to watch me put them on and take them off.

The solution is a HUGE and heavy monster to lug around on vacations and stuff. Pero madali naman daw maubos.

Wow, I really missed blogging. I'll be back with my Multiply and Blogspot buddies! :D

Sobrang napag-iwanan na ko. Marami na palang nagpalit ng site, nagpalit ng skin, nagpalit ng pangalan...haii.

Oh yeah. Read/see this post. I ♥ 48 talaga.

Ooops. I lied. ...and, Summer To-Do List.

2009-04-02T21:32:00.000+08:00

I lied. I wasn't able to do the thing where I try to remember everyone and write about them. Sorry. But I will get to that ASAP.

Instead, I have started my summer pigging-out.

Not on purpose, mind you. I got sick (which I do like, every two months. Crap. Hindi pwedeng ganito hanggang college. Tsk tsk.). So, despite the fact that I had to get my contacts, go soulwinning, attend to the YP project, and check up on UP, no, I am stuck at home. But I think I will have to face all those tomorrow.

And I wanted to blog, but I am not allowed near the computer. I am confined to the sick room, where I sleep around three times a day (because of Decolgen Drowse) and eat uncountable times a day, and watch TV of disgusting piggish amount of which most is really lame, I only look out for good movies on HBO, and read like I haven't read everything in my room approximately a dozen times each, and of course catch up on my Bible reading because everyone is like, halfway through and I'm as good as the spine on the cover. Ha! to me.

Did I mention I lost my cellphone? Which is why my accumulated textlife is now GONE. Please just tap me on the shoulder if you see me or PM or whatever if you want the new number.

I think a lot about college, muse and remember a lot about high school, and remember why exactly I feel like an idiot.

Okay, now I have ranted, which I so avoid doing but can't help, and actually, THIS is what I blogged for:

Presenting...

My
Summer To-Do List

Ride a Blue Taxi
Get a summer job (fat chance.)
Do private violin lessons (piano and guitar, too, please)
Learn how to really cook (working on it)
Catch up on Bible reading (progress...buffering...)
Fix my bed every morning (GAWRSH! I never even used to clean my desk.)
Master wearing contacts (since i haven't even gone to fetch them, so...)
Record school bell (heehee)
Get enrolled.

This is so very prone to change.

If you want to...
help me do any of these
OR
want to come along while I do these

please tell me. That would be really helpfup/fun. :D Especially the summer job thing, ohpleaseohpleaseohplease. You Mi and I would be accomplices in that, I think. ;p

If you are one of my close friends or frequent disturbers or probably eavesdrop a lot on me you will find out that to-do lists are an obsession to me. They are also usually forgotten and unfruitfulm, but at the time being when I write it it helps keep my mind on track.

...which means I should write a to-do list, probably, I don't know, every hour?

Goodness, Kit. Stop ranting.

I realized. Then I resolve.

2009-04-01T04:49:00.000+08:00

The water was really murky, but I could just make out the angel fish wiggling swimmingly among the bubbles and fake plastic plants, and yes, all the murk. Actually, it was a really ugly sight: the fascinating thing was that the fish tank was in a real TV set, its insides taken out. For short, it looked like a TV displaying a view of a fish tank.

It was in my silent reverie of preschool kid fascination for the TV/tank that a classmate, in fact a seatmate I used to kind of not get along with, Dio, came up to me and asked, "Kit, naingnan na nimo tanang gusto nimong ingnan?" *or something like that...* (Kit, nakausap mo na ba lahat ng gusto mong kausapin?)

I gulped, silently asked for forgiveness...

...and quickly lied with a few successive nods.

I think he walked away because he thought since I had, I was not worth talking to, because he probably hadn't.

I later found out why, but point beside--

Most people don't know how much they mean to me.
*Awww.*

So I will try to remember every single person I know from school (YIPES! Please just bonk me on the head if I miss out on anyone.) and write what I know about them. I feel kind of weird trying to do this, but I know all these people deserve it.

Everyone must be given a chance to show that they are wonderful.

Will start with Humility. By seating arrangement. Will do right away for my next post.

SENIORS. You need to read this.

2009-03-31T06:32:00.000+08:00

Since most of us use/see newspapers only when we need them for art projects (magkakaganun pa kaya tayo???) I bet many of you are not aware of this. This is from Maam Jocy's column in SunStar Davao, her latest post, appeared last Saturday, March 28, 2009*, right before graduation.

*it says March 27, Friday, but I dunno: she told me her column appears on Saturdays. O baka mali nanaman rinig ko. ;p

Guys, you have to read this. It may be an article posted in SunStar on Maam J's column for the world to see, but after reading this for a fact you will know, and you need to know, that this is for us.

From http://www.sunstar.com.ph/davao/so-yeung-rite-passage#comment-4125 :

So-Yeung: Rite of Passage

Jocy L. So-Yeung

Unraveling

Friday, March 27, 2009

THIS year, 90 of my students will graduate from high school. They're not a big batch, it rarely is for Davao Christian High School, but I prefer it that way. It certainly becomes easier to know your students and feel a stronger sense of connection with them, as opposed to if I taught in the largest high school in the world, Pasig’s Rizal High School with its population of approximately 20,000 students.

Our school's graduating seniors have just returned from a two-night retreat filled with copious crying, terse open forums, and awkward last-minute confessions of sins and affections. More than a decade ago, during my own Senior's Retreat, our class' notorious hell raisers shocked us on the last night by suddenly crumpling to sobbing heaps.

Ahh high school... there is something about saying goodbye to high school life that pulls the heartstrings of even the most stoic of classmates. Seniors will view their last year in high school as an inevitable rite of passage that induces a huge ball of mixed emotions seemingly lodged somewhere in their guts, growing more and more conspicuous as the last day of classes approaches.

This March 29, I will see my 8th batch of seniors graduate. I admit graduation holds a different meaning for me as a teacher compared to the students. What I feel now is different from what I felt when it was my batchmates and I marching on the stage to receive our diplomas.

As a teacher, there is less apprehension of the unknown territory beyond high school. Yes, I am fearful of how the excesses and temptations of college can derail their lives. I am tremble at the thought of teenage parenthood, chronic academic failures, and addictions to partying, drinking, smoking, or drugs. But at the same time, I have to acknowledge the limits of my control as teacher, and how I now need to trust in God's purpose and guidance and my students' wisdom and values to guide them through the pitfalls of college life.

For teachers, the general vibe during graduation is more of thanksgiving, especially for students who graduated amidst red marks or death of a parent. It is wonderful to see students who used to run around the classroom as precocious sophomores with sweaty uniforms now wear their pristine white caps and gowns. There is also a quiet pride, and a hope that somehow, someway we've made a dent in their hearts and minds, that they would look back at their high school life and remember their teachers with fondness.

My student, Kit, wrote this note for me on our last class meeting. "I've often had this thought: For teachers, there will be a batrillion smart, pretty, interesting, memorable, amazing students -- batch after batch, bagong stock. But for students, nag-iisa si Maam na teacher sa science nung 2nd year, si Sir sa physics, si Maam nung entrep. Walang bagong stock, never malaos. Irreplaceable. I am always stung by this thought na unfair, kayo, special, once in a lifetime sa 'min. Kami, seasonal. Dami pang choices."

I want to end this piece with a response to Kit and her graduating batch. I cannot promise remembering all the names of my students five years from now. I cannot promise recalling all the funny or tearful classroom memories we've had. I cannot promise knowing all the plans and secrets they've told me through the years. This is just the same as how students will not be able to remember all the high school lessons they've had through the years.

However, there will always be only one Kit for me, one Wes, one Samantha, one Beverly, one Altoz, one Marie, one Sol, one Therese, one Jeremy, one Jose, one Earl, one Krishelle, one Hannah, one Dave, one DCHS Seniors Batch 2009. The lessons may stay the same, the activities may be similar, the students' jokes and antics may be recycled, year after year after year, but each batch will never be considered a 'stock,' like faceless merchandise moving down an assembly line. Each batch, each student is irreplaceable, unique, a treasure.

Amongst my co-teachers today are two veterans who were my teacher before and were teachers of the parents of some of the graduating seniors. It amazes me that after more than two decades of teaching, Maam Juezan and Sir Oca, can still reconnect with their old students. They might have forgotten some of the names, but their eyes still light up upon recognition and they still feel close enough to their former students to listen to their current problems, dispense advice, and pray for them.

Graduation is a rite of passage that may seem like goodbye for many, but for us teachers, it is just a temporary break for our students to explore the great world beyond. The connection, if the student desires, will never be broken. To our students, you may learn from new teachers, go to new cities and countries, and attain new successes, but you always remain part of our lives. We, your teachers, will still be here for you.

*****

Jocy L. So-Yeung teaches at Davao Christian High School.

I ask you to read this not because I can see my name there and I know I can relate to this article. But because we are batch 2009. This is inspired by us, this is made for us.

And if you need words, see if they matched mine. This is a comment I placed on the article online:

One and only Maam J ;p

I cried. I didn't expect you to actually mention our names, and all.

But it wasn't that. It was knowing for sure, in a way, that we would always have a home at DCHS. We will never be forgotten. And somehow, we're not really leaving, but we will leave something behind.

Thanks. ^.^

Batch 09.

♥

I.am.GRADUATING.today.

2009-03-29T02:47:00.000+08:00

June 10, 2008 - First Day of Classes, or as we horrifically call it, Our Last First Day.

In His Welcome to Humility Speech...
Sir Desi: I want to see you all MARCH on MARCH.

---

Tawa pa kami nun.

Now we're actually HERE.

It's March. And we're going to MARCH.

Thank God.

More later. :D :D :D :D :D :D

Let's get this thingie with it and over with!
*armed with tissues for sniffles*

Get out.

2009-03-04T13:24:00.000+08:00

The one-week vacation-slash-horror trip that NSPC was was not healthy for me at all. I am too used to living lax, not being too pressured, being with sane people. Now I am thrust back into the melodrama that is my life and "falling apart" is a good way to start describing it.

I am not falling apart. I mean, not ME. Everything around me.

Or maybe it is me and I'm just delusional.

School requirements. The usual blood, sweat and tears. But teachers are being more irrational. Classmates are more tense, moody, crazy. Everyday big things seem to happen, like Altoz's dad's dying*. We're cramming and being tortured, not learning--sometimes. Nothing makes sense.

Graduating. It is a bleak three weeks away. It doesn't feel like it's supposed to. I don't know, actually, how I'm supposed to feel and react. Ends, beginnings--they're all jumbled up in my head.

College. I am a nail, and it is the hammer, and it is springing on my head every moment or so, not to mention that it is disorienting and it leaves me feeling like, well, a piece of rust dissolving into air.

Writing. Every single thing I write reminds me of what I blew at NSPC, my dreams of becoming a writer, the seeming impossibility. Not that it is impossible, I know. But it just seems to.

Friends, acquaintances. They puzzle me. I realize for real that people are fallible and that I can only truly rely on God--I cannot make my happiness, dependence and security fall to their hands. Some friends feel like they're out to get me. Some don't understand when I need them to. I know they have problems. But do they make problems for others too? Everyone is selfish nowadays. I am smothered in all the self-concern and vanity around me. It's hard to catch a breath.

Me. I am insecure. Afraid to fall out of grace. Tired. Need sleep, need a brain, need to feel. I keep praying out of nowhere, sometimes a whisper, sometimes in a blink, sometimes in the dead of the night when I fall to my knees and struggle in silence.

Needless to say, it's a tough time. For everyone.

But we have to keep strong.
We're almost there.
We've made it this far.
And turning back means falling and failing through everything we've worked for and become.

I can't believe how much I keep smiling.

Tarry, people.
We all have to remember: keep smiling. Keep loving. Keep faith. :D ♥

* Please pray for Altoz. PRAY PRAY PRAY. You might not know him, and you might not care, but now you do and now you need to. ♥

NSPC. Moo.

2009-02-22T09:58:00.000+08:00

Describe NSPC:
Great people. Amazing memories.
Weird jokes. :))
Food? No comment.
Priceless discoveries.
Ultimate learning experience.
Sleepless nights, and impulsive shopping, too.

Gusto mo mag-journalist? Pare, daan ka muna dito.

I am so bummed that
-it is over,
-that I cannot do it again, and
-that I only went through with it ONCE.

I didn't win anything. Or did I?

Naga feels like home. And the people feel like family.
I got lotsa new friends! (parang kinder!)

And I met my old friends, too. Man, I miss them.

Hindi, I miss it all. Lahat yun.

Kahit sawa na ko sa Mayon, cagsawa ruins at Pili nuts
at sa food
at nanginginig ako sa room namin pag umaga
at feeling ko may gumagamit ng shampoo ko
at 12am ang average bedtime
at hanggang tingin lang kami sa CWC
at wala akong place sa Ed Eng.
:))

Masakit nga pala yung sa Ed Eng thing. Biruin mo, yun yung pinunta ko dun. Ilang linggo ko rin pinaglaban at pinilit pumunta para dun. Tapos wala. Certificate lang yata.

Pero I got more than what I bargained for.

Thank God for this experience.

As in.

PS. By the way, sa hindi pagkakaalam ng mga tao doon, at kahit ako ngayon ko rin lang narealize, nagkacrush ako sa NSPC. Hulaan tayo kung sino. :p

Pictures after 48 years, 'kay???? ^.^
And series of blog posts on this afterwards din. Mga 48 years din. :))

Eeengk.

2009-02-14T06:56:00.000+08:00

Nag-net ako para mag, ehem, study. As in, look up current events and stuff.

Wala. Nag-Multiply lang ako at nag-memorize ng How Deep is Your Love.

Hai. Sayang. Out na ko. ;p

Crap! Nakakatakot na tuloy ang NSPC! :D

Lame, but this is my Valentines post. :p

2009-02-14T06:01:00.000+08:00

I shall start from yesterday.

It was a gray day. I just realized (as in right now) that it was Friday the 13th :)) Anyway, woke up to go to school to get a little more training for NSPC--I took this 3-session crash course--and got finally semi-perfect feedback, only maybe that's just because it's my last day and Mr Trainer Guy (I'm not sure I'll get his name right) just took pity on me. Anyway. I also passed some papers, the security waiver and the add'l expenses budget. When we got home, I slept, only to be woken up to go fetch the checks back at school again. Also dropped by SC to get my shirt, the Love God, Love Man, Glorify God, Edify Man one. And then I had to go pack.

All throughout the day, I felt a little deflated. Okay, very deflated. I'd waiting for this day, but that day was not a day of traveling for me, not a day of leaving and going out of comfort zones. I think rain does that to me sometimes.

Anyway, because of my our last minute packing, we checked in only an hour early, not two as everyone's supposed to. My mom told me to keep an eye on everything because I'll be on my own on the flight to Legaspi and I just kept low and said "opo" to everything.

I noticed a group of kids and adults that, by a pretty good shot, I guessed were on the way to NSPC, too. The guys were gay, the girls were stressed, the adults were jologs. Most like male and female student journalists and school paper coaches.

We landed seats with 25 Koreans. 25 bumbling, screamy Koreans. One had a seat beside Mama--I had window--and was a Pastor, gone to this Presbyterian mission in Cabantian (ole!). One of the male flight attendants became the first caucasian guy I ever found cute.

I picked up mood as we took off, as Davao was reduced to an amazing black pond of stars.

A little afterwards was the highlight of the whole flight for me: Mr Flight Attendant asked if I would like coffee, tea, water or juice? :))))) Just kidding. But he did ask. And I am a huge sucker for decent guys, which, being a flight attendant, he was. :)))))

We landed 10:55pm at NAIA 2. It was sleek and much prettier than Domestic and 1, and outside, it looked like a hotel. The first thing I did outside, which instinctively is the first thing I always do as I step on Luzon soil, is take a fresh deep breath of some good Tagalog air.

We caught a metered taxi (NEVER get those taxis with which you have to haggle some fixed price, unless you're in, like, MOA where lining up at the taxi stop is hell. We passed by Nayong Pilipino, and it made me remember taking field trips n places like that which in turn made me remember how this place was my home, and just like that, I fell in love with Manila again.

We got to the condo around 11. I missed my gramma and my Tita Con, even pregnant Ate Marichu, our most favorite so far helper. But after she gives birth we'll have to go find another one. :(

I was cramping from eating irregularly all day, so I downed mik and mocha chiffon. I tried out the MP3 my tita sent me from US, which is really small but is killer cause it's 4gig. I fell asleep on FM radio, past 12.

I realized that the 5 of us were really lame Valentines Day celebrators: My Alzheimer-stricken grandmother lost her husband a little over a year ago, although when he died she thought he was her father :( my mom is on errand and is terribly missing my dad, kahit wala nung wala pa silang isang oras magkahiwalay. Tita Con is an old lady; she used to have lots of suitors but turned them all down. Ate Marichu's family is in Naga. And me? I am on a one-in-a-billion wish on the odds of being in the same plane with Mr Flight Attendant again. :))

My devotion today: 1 Cor 13.
And it says it is not about love, and receiving it.
It's about GIVING. ♥
And guess what?
In my KJV Bible, the version whose translation is nearest to the original scripts, the word love was not used in 1 Cor 13.
It was Charity.
"...but the greatest of these is Charity."
So, again, it's about
GIVING.

So, despite the morbid people refusing to greet and the lovesick people out on dates right now...

Happy Valentines. ♥

Van, you started this one. ;p

2009-02-10T16:56:00.001+08:00

Yipes, that sounds so lesbooo!!! :]]

I dropped by Multiply after doing a little research for NSPC. (Halatang cramming ako.) I saw my classmate Vanessa post all of her class pictures. You have no idea paano ako humagikhik sa harap ng monitor. :]] Ang "cute" nila lahat.

I looked back on my ~~high~~ school life.

I don't always have pictures to show.

I'd had 6 official schools. Pinakamatagal ko is 5 years, dun sa first school ko, hanggang grade 3.

I can't remember all of my classmates. I can't remember all of my teachers, either. Heck, I can't remember the way to my fourth-grade school. ;p

I remember lots of smiles, more tears, even more laughs. Ilang sermon sa ingay, sa gulo, sa baba ng grades. Ilang horror and loveable teachers. Sandamakmak na iba't-ibang mukha na hindi naman lahat naaalala ko. Corridors, classmates, books, quizzes, exams, entrance exams. Principals, canteens, flag assemblies. Projects, officers, programs.

---

I look back on my school life.

I have not many pictures to show. I can't claim every friendship lasting. I can't say I learned everything. I can't say I always won, or always lost.

But.

I end up feeling TRULY blessed to have had such a rich life full of friends with whom I shared amazing times with, teachers who loved me and cared enough for me to teach, lessons that are absolutely indispensable and relevant, moments that will always be mine.

I'm feeling too overwhelmed. I want to cry. I want to laugh. I want to remember, I want to return. I want to hug people, scream at people. I want to walk in yellow skirts and/or white dresses again (yes, YELLOW and yes, DRESSES.) I want to run through the rain to catch a jeep home, or sprint the five minutes into one dodging droplets. The burning days under the sun practicing for dances, the flips and cheers and shakes.

Now what comes to mind is my first day ever, and now I stop because my mind is too clouded by this question that is brought to me by the amazing and wonderful life I'd had in between sixteen years.

...
How did I get here? :D

Van, you started this one. ;p

2009-02-10T16:56:00.000+08:00

...
How did I get here?

I grabbed this from Rie, a blogspot linkie. Hearts, gurl.

2008-12-28T12:08:00.000+08:00

1) Age of my next birthday - 17. Weeee!!! I don't understand why people my age are ashamed of getting older. Hello, it's about entering the prime of lives, babe. :]]
2) Place I would like to travel - Italia (flying kiss to the air)
3) My favorite place - homehomeHOME. I miss my life back here.
4) A favorite thing - Bible. Can't live without it.
5) Favorite food - what exactly does chocoholic mean???
6) Favorite color - Blooooooooooee.
7) The city I reside now - Right now??? Makati, honey.
8) Name of my first lover - Jesus Christ. :D
9) Favorite movie - Hindi ko to kaya!!! Marami po.
10) Favorite book - Bible.
11) Bad habit - The Procrastinator. Hasta la vista, babyyy. (Get it? The TERMINATOR? Haha?)
12) A hobby -Eat, read, sleep.
13) Current wish list (maximum of 3) : 1. iTouchie? 2. A laptop. 3. Gwen's cam!!! :))

I grabbed this from Rie, a blogspot linkie. Hearts, gurl.

2008-12-28T12:06:00.000+08:00

I grabbed this from Rie, a blogspot linkie. Hearts, gurl.

2008-12-28T12:04:00.000+08:00

1) Age of my next birthday - 17. Weeee!!! I don't understand why people my age are ashamed of getting older. Hello, it's about entering the prime of lives, babe. :]]
2) Place I would like to travel - Italia (flying kiss to the air)
3) My favorite place - homehomeHOME. I miss my life back here.
4) A favorite thing - Bible. Can't live without it.
5) Favorite food - what exactly does chocoholic mean???
6) Favorite color - Blooooooooooee.
7) The city I reside now - Right now??? Makati, honey.
8) Name of my first lover - Jesus Christ. :D
9) Favorite movie - Hindi ko to kaya!!! Marami po.
10) Favorite book - Bible.
11) Bad habit - The Procrastinator. Hasta la vista, babyyy. (Get it? The TERMINATOR? Haha?)
12) A hobby -eating >:)
13) Current wish list (maximum of 3) : 1. iTouchie? 2. A laptop. 3. Gwen's cam!!! :))

Guess who's hoOome?

2008-12-28T11:57:00.000+08:00

Grow up in the most perfect place ever. Move. Not come back for three years. Come for the holidays. Fall in love all over again.

With the place, haha! Baka misleading kina Taba. ;p

I've been home since the 24th in the dead of the night; or early morning, that is. We smuggled to the back part of our old house in Binan that we kept to keep our stuff, got a mattress, in the dark--the tenant of the front part of the house went away for the holidays and turned off the fuse box. Bungisngis ako nang bungisngis sa dilim. Mama: "Madali pala maging magnanakaw..." May bago siyang pwedeng career choice.

I don't know what to write about anymore that would do justice to how much I fell in love with living here again.

I'd mostly been shopping (hehe) but I'm making it a point to make my 10-day stay worthwhile. I stay in my tita's condo (which I love) with my parents and my gramma. I spent time with both my mom's and dad's side of the family on Christmas. Just yesterday, we went home to Binan and I hung out for a while with my long lost girlfriends ( oo, mga shota ko!!! Hahaha!!! BTW, pics from yesterday are on Lara's site, http://mylittleburberry.multiply.com/photos/album/112/KIT?replies_read=1 I was so flattered to have a post named after me. :]] ), kahit kulang pa kami ng isa (Jasmiiiiiiiine). I'll be coming back in the next three days, which, by the way, is all the time I have left. On Jan first, babangluksa of my gramps in Batangas. (Babangluksa is a Catholic tradition of prayer for family and friends of the deceased, tapos kainan afterwards. Every year yata. We're not Catholic, but gramps and the rest of the family, actually, is. Hardcore Catholic din dati si Mama.) From there, straight on to Davao. Hello, perpetual sunshine and workloads once more. Oh well. Halos two months na lang.

That's another thing I've been thinking about. In a month, I might be told I will be studying here. In a few more weeks after that, I'll be enrolling. And moving. And studying here. And leaving Davao, and my family, and my church, and my school. Talk about detachment. While I was riding the MRT to my dad's family, I was all, I will have to do this. Every day. Without my parents. I think I this was more than just riding the railway transit.

I can't believe how dramatic my life has to be. :))

Oh yeah, I still hate Krispy Kreme. Do you know how much oil goes into that to make it soft? I can taste the oil on my tongue, it's horrible. And confectionary sugar, which is unhealthy???

Watch this Super Size Me documentary. I think you can find it on YouTube. It's this healthy vegetarian guy who ate just McDo for a whole month (he was curious, and trying to make a statement), and he got all these kidney problems and stuff. It was all irreversible. It's gross.

There, I'm rambling again. In fact, I always ramble now on my blog. Sorry about that. That's been making my posts boring to everyone, I know. :))

Merry Christmas. Enjoy the season: it's not here for long. And always remember the reason for the season (Yo.).

Kitty miss bloggie 3 - I’m laughing now, and I don’t know why.

2008-12-07T03:34:00.000+08:00

I’m laughing now, and I don’t know why.

We had 20 minutes off the end of CE; Madz and I went to the library. I checked out the June issue of Brio that I never opened before because a band named Hawk Nelson on the cover doesn’t catch my fancy. It was a surprisingly good issue.

I read this amazing piece on how we keep God out of lives, telling ourselves our hearts are too messy for Him to be in. It was almost life-changing, and that’s for another post. Somewhere in the middle of it, I read about her (the writer) having a kid when she was 14, but giving up the baby for adoption.

I asked Madz what she would do if, regardless if it was possible or how it could happen, she had a baby, would she give it up by the reasons that people give away their babies to adoption for, you know, like having hopes and dreams and wanting to study and being busy that they couldn’t take the time to take care of their babies, that crap. She said she wouldn’t, said so and explained it as indignantly as I would have.

I was bothered, at the same time touched, by a memory that was so sweetly painful.

For the record, before I start my story, I was never through teen pregnancy. I have never even had a boyfriend. LOL. And I told this story to Madz, and a couple other people, too, all through the day. Wait, there’s her, Melaika, Loui, Elle, John, Danson, and I think Patrick and Janssen heard it too.

I don’t remember how these series of events were played out, and I’ll just tell the story so that you can easily understand.

I had a dream some nights ago. It was a long dream. I was the way I am now, sixteen, a senior. In my dream, I lived in our old house in Laguna, however, but I still went to Davao Christian, though that part is vague—actually, guesswork supported by some opaque piece of memory--maybe because something else mattered too much.

I had a child out of teen pregnancy. It was a baby boy. Bizarrely, his dad took care of him, and he lives with him. Regularly, almost everyday, they come visit me and we spend time together, usually after my classes. One of the most clear frames from my dream stuck to my mind was one where we went to an theme park. We did that kind of stuff.

My “husband” was a tall, kind of stocky guy. He, but I’m not sure, but maybe at least his hair, looks like the lecturer we had at chapel hour a few weeks ago who spoke against premarital sex (I just realized that now. What a connection. The teen pregnancy, the lecture…) and was really cool, but I’m sure it was not him, pero siya na yung pinakahawig nung “husband” ko sa lahat ng kilala ko. I say “husband”, quote and quote, because it is not very likely that we were married. I think he’s older than me. I believe he’s the strong opinionated type, because one time in my dream I made them wait for me before going out somewhere, and he was kind of pissed, but not a bad temper, no. We did not disagree, but I don’t remember being sweet with him. I wish I found out whether or not we were. Heck, I wish we were. Judging, he must be older than me. This is the best biodata of him that I can construct from what I remember: everything was blurry, and everything is starting to fade and slip away all the time, like it always is with dreams. If it helps, that time he got pissed at me he was wearing an orange shirt. He was probably in cargo shorts. It was dusk that time.

All I remember about my baby boy is him being in swaddling clothes, and being absolutely very precious to me, to everyone I knew.

I don’t remember what I was doing in my dream when I woke up, but I felt kind of empty and stared off for a while, just sitting on my bed.

Remembering my dream today, sharing it with other people, I figure out that realizing they were just a dream made me sad, because that despite the fact that they do not exist, I had fallen head over heels in love with them, both of them, with all of my heart, and that I miss them terribly that it hurts to remember. That was what I meant by sweet and painful. A memory of a dream. It’s strange.

I’m happy and sad whenever I remember them, which is almost all the time since I first did. I’m sad because I miss them, not because I wish I have a family right now, as a teenager (that’s just freaky), but because they were my family. How could I not love them, then not miss them when they were gone? And I’m happy I met them, even if in a world that isn’t real, and that they aren’t real. Though I sort of don’t need to right now, I learned how much I would love my family when I have one, and how much of my world contained them. How, as a mother and “wife”, important they are, and how they belong to me and I belong to them. Kind of, parang taste-test lang. The real thing has to be more wonderful. Yeah, I thank God for meeting my “family”. I know that it has changed and touched me in some way that makes me happier and my heart fuller.

In a way, I wonder…if I was separated from them the way they were from me? Will they ever miss me? Is there a need for me to worry about how they would be without me? Or were they really just a wisp of reality that can never quite be?* –SIGH- My angels. I can’t believe I learned to love in a dream, and learned to love a dream after waking up even so far after.

Good night, my angels. Sweetest dreams and biggest of loves to you. And you.

*Rereading now. How cheesy, but how exact that catches the thought. Yeah, the sentence that uses wisp, reality and quite. Gross, right?

**I do not sound like my 16 year-old, childish, girly senior student-self here. I sound like some other self that sounds so much like my mother. I’m laughing now, and I don’t know why.

Kitty miss bloggie 2

2008-12-04T15:32:00.000+08:00

Hindi na talaga matiis. ;p

I'll try to go backwards from now, okay? Pero yung today lang muna, o baka hanggang yesterday. Masyadong mahaba. :p

THURSDAY
I'm waiting for Betty to start. Oo, may bago nanaman akong kinalolokohan.

Biruin mo ba naman, Halos inabot ako ng 30 minutes sa isang tanong kanina sa make-up quiz ko sa Physics??? Ay, hindi. More pa.

Yung sa Math naman, okay lang. However, while I was taking the quiz, it was right in the middle of lunch, tapos parang may nag-ihaw sa loob ng faculty, sobrang kapal ng usok, ubung-ubo na ko. Pag pasok ko sa ComLab, I discovered na parang amoy yosi ako, and it lasted for a while. Ewww.

Woot!!! Filipino movie was a success. Sabi daw ni Maam Beng pulidong-pulido daw yung trabaho namin, hindi daw last-minute. Ang hindi niya alam, kami ang pinakahuling nagshooting. :)) Super thank God natapos na kami.

Pathetic masyado yung nangyari kaninang English. I love you, Gen people. Walang justice. They were playing around with a toy cockroach tapos napatili si Sol tapos pinalabas ba naman sila ng AVR. Can't believe it.

WEDNESDAY
OMG, I can't remember.

Oh, wait, there. Ang engot engot ni crush. Ever experienced having a crush on someone, tapos they do something absolutely weird, and you think, "bakit SIYA???" Well, for the record, aside from Sir Armando and Kirk Cameron, siya pa lang ang naging crush ko the whole school year. Uy, sino yan? Chika. :p

Uy, ever seen the movie Outsourced? It's airing on Star Movies. Akala ko corny. Ganda, I recommend it ;) very fun, pang kick-back Saturday afternoon movie. I stayed up until I could pry my eyes away from the screen.

Wednesday was one of the most amazing days ever. Ever felt like araw-araw, pare-pareho na lang yung mga kasama mo, mga kausap mo? Yesterday, what started out as an Ice Breaer session pero kasi corny yung questions, gumawa na lang kami ng sa amin, I got to talk with these 3 freshies. They are so cool, and so darling, I adore them. Hindi sila parang Moses Cam and Joshua Trinidad cool, pero I love them! They kept asking questions, and almost never answered mine. And I hate myself for not remembering all their names. I'll ask Maam Bhabes again.

Tapos, nag-bonding kami ni Margareth over lunch. I love her! Haha, parang love ko na yata ang mundo. I learned about her, about hating her ______ (can't endanger her life, haha!), how sweet and real she is, and even a lot about Justin. I suddenly felt so much respect and admiration for both of them.

Tapos, after classes naman, chika kami ni Orville. Kasi daw, he's trying to get to talk with all the Seniors before we all go away forever...*sniff* Tapos I discovered something. Uy, Orville...

Tapos nagbunutan na kami for the exchange gift! I have to admit something: nakipagpalit ako ng manito-manita. Not because I had a problem with the person I picked, pero kasi, bibigyan ko na siya, and I was looking forward to some sort of challenge. I remember last year, girl yung una kong napili, tapos nakipagpalit ako para boy para may challenge. Goodness, ang hirap hanapan ng gift ni Alfie. And ever since, wish ko na teacher ang makabunot sa kin kasi maganda magregalo. Last year lang nagkatotoo yung wish ko!!! Lahat ng kris kringle gifts ko were chocolates (yata) and my actual gift was this superb, most perfect journal. Thanks and much love, Maam Gina ;)

I should stop now. It's 10. Sleep Sleep! :D

Top 20 Signs You're Watching a Pinoy Movie

2008-11-13T13:33:00.000+08:00

Reposted from Ria Redor. Thanks! :D

A good LOL, guys. Check it. ;)

The Top Twenty Signs That You're Watching A Pinoy Movie

1. Sasayaw sa likod ng puno ng buko pag nasa beach yung scene. Alternate pa 'yung mga ulo nila.

2. 'Yung kontrabida yayakap sa bida, sabay taas ng
kilay at ngingisi.

3. Uuwi ang bida na may dalang pancit sa kanyang nanay
na si Anita Linda. Tatawagin nito ang mga bata para kumain,
at kakamustahin ng bida ang pag-aaral habang kumakain ng
pancit. Biglang may titigil na sasakyan sa harap ng bahay at
pauulanan ng baril ang pamilya! Mamamatay si Anita Linda, at
sisigaw ang bida ng "Inaaay!" at mangangakong
ipaghihiganti ito. Moral lesson: Ang pansit nagdadala ng
malas - nakakamatay.

4. Pag may magkaribal na babae, yung mabait deretcho
ang buhok at may bangs. Yung salbahe, laging kulot.

5. Sa pinoy action movies, ang bida hindi nauubusan ng
bala.

6. Sa pinoy action movies, kapag tumakbo ang bida, sa
lupa lahat ang tama ng bala ng kalaban.

7. Kapag may angry mob na pupunta sa bahay-kubo ng
manananggal, si Vangie Labalan ang laging lider.

8. Alam mong moment of truth na ng bida kapag sinabi na
niya 'yung title ng pelikula.

9. Ang tawag ng kontrabida sa mga goons niya, "Mga
bata."

10. 'Yung nakababatang kapatid ng bida habang
naglalaro ng bola, mabibitawan at mapupunta sa gitna ng
kalsada. Tapos may darating na sasakyan, tapos itutulak siya
ng bida. 'Yung bida naman ang nasa gita ng kalsada.
Biglang may sasakyang darating. Ang bida, ico-cross lang
niya arms niya covering his face tapos sisigaw 'yung
kapatid ng 'kuyaaa!' ... Next scene nasa ospital na
sila. Simula na ng drama.

11. Kapag bakbakan, hindi nasasaktan ang bida, pero
umaaray siya pag ginagamot na siya ng leading lady, at
kasunod na ang love scene.

12. Kapag sinabi ng kontrabida ang masama niyang plano
sa bida, ang sasabihin ng bida: "hayop ka!"

13. Ang bidang babae, pag katulong ang role, siguradong
magiging anak ng amo niya sa ending.

14. Ang nanay ng mayaman laging may pamaypay na
pangmayaman, at ang nanay ng mahirap laging naka duster.

15. Ang hideout ng kontrabida, parating mansion na may
chicks sa pool.

16. Ang mga bida sa drama, pag nakatanggap ng masamang
balita, laging may pinto sa likod nila para puwede silang
sumandal habang nagi-slide dahan-dahan pababa, tapos todo
iyak with matching uhog.

17. Pag di nahuli ng mga goons ang bida, sasabihin ng
boss sa kanila, "Mga inutil!"

18. Laging nakakapulot ng baril na may bala ang bida
kapag kinakailangan niya.

19. Laging mas maganda ang yayang bida kesa sa
kontrabidang anak ng amo niya.

20. Pag ang ending ng movie ay song and dance number sa
beach o resort, ang huling frame, tatalon ang buong cast...
sabay freeze.

Good morning, 16.

2008-11-01T03:05:00.000+08:00

Just sneaked down to check the greetings. :D It's like having a second Christmas.

I'll blog more later. Happy sweetest. ^.^ Thank You.

4 minutes...

2008-10-31T12:09:00.000+08:00

...to save the world??? Haha, no. I have a little over 4 minutes to say everything I wanna, because I'm just out on an internet cafe while I'm waiting for Maam Cathy so I can get some stuff from school, and I just thought of it right now, when I only have 4 minutes to spare.

DSPC. I didn't do Feature. I knew I didn't stand a chance. I could have done both (Editorial English) but still. I gave myself this super crash course on Editorial writing. And guess what? ;)

I scraped by. 5th, dude, 5th. Going to RSPC, babeeeeee. Thank You.

Oh yes, and thank you to all my loves who sent THEIR loving for tomorrow. ^.^

Okay, now I have just 30 seconds. Bye!!!

Bizarre. Oh, no.

2008-10-29T02:39:00.000+08:00

It's been two dyas, or should I say nights, in a row.

The other night's was okay. Nag-uusap lang kami. Totally harmless.

Last night's really kicked it up a notch.
At first,we were just talking, like before. I don't remember what about.
And then, after wards, everyone around was was like "uyyy" and stuff. Since I was dreaming and thought it all real, I was really embarrassed.
TAPOS!!! Omigosh. I sat beside his mom and her friend.
His mom: Uyyy, manugang ko yan (or something like that).
His mom's friend: Wow, ito pala manugang mo!!!

Oh, man.

Rainy days, gloomy skies.

2008-10-25T12:35:00.000+08:00

Rainy days, gloomy skies. It makes me think, especially when I'm alone.

The rest of the family went to Nabunturan for the day. Nagpaiwan ako for the food review. Left the house at 11:30, distinctly feeling that I was forgetting something. When I thought about it, nothing seemed to be out of place. Appliances unplugged. Aircon off. Brushed teeth. Essentials at hand. Check, check, and check. And then I realized I forgot to do my devotion. I felt instantly gloomy, and the weather agreed. What horrifies me now is that I didn't even snatch a quick prayer on the way, on the jeep. I feel really bad now.

Well, anyway, not to say I didn't have fun with the staff there. I did. For a split second, before separating to our respective places, I had a funny feeling that I didn't want to go yet. However, the house to myself, with cheesecake and TV and internet on a rainy Saturday, the idea beckoned to me. Now I feel very cheesy about it.

Yes, this post is about FEELINGS. I've used the word more than once, I noticed. Even more gross about it? MY FEELINGS. Beware.

The cheesecake seemed more sour than it should have been. I thought of how I sneered at Vanesa Hudgens, with all her posters sneaking up everywhere because of the HSM3 showings, and how we joking around that she was Vanessa's idol (peace, Van). I thought of ridiculous puppy love. I thought of pictures, and in fact searched the net for it, but nothing seemed to satisfy my eye. I thought of crying. I kind of felt like it. But there is nothing to cry for. I thought of turning 16, and whether it was going to be sweet or not. I remembered everyone who was greeting in advance, some asking what I wanted for my birthday as a joke, because they were so far away and couldn't really give me presents. I wondered what I really wanted for my birthday. I wondered what poeple would want for Christmas, which was only two months and two weeks away. I wondered how this Christmas would be like.

I hate emo days. They don't make sense.

I remembered Who Am I, the casting crowns songs. I remebered the lyrics,

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.

Wondered why I felt like I was reeling away from Him. How I guilty I was that it was true.

And then there went the rest of the song:

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth 
Would care to know my name 
Would care to feel my hurt 
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star 
Would choose to light the way 
For my ever wandering heart 

Not because of who I am 
But because of what You've done 
Not because of what I've done 
But because of who You are 

I am a flower quickly fading 
Here today and gone tomorrow 
A wave tossed in the ocean 
Vapor in the wind 
Still You hear me when I'm calling 
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling 
And You've told me who I am 
I am Yours, I am Yours 

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin 
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again 
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea 
Would call out through the rain 
And calm the storm in me 

Not because of who I am 
But because of what You've done 
Not because of what I've done 
But because of who You are 

I am a flower quickly fading 
Here today and gone tomorrow 
A wave tossed in the ocean 
Vapor in the wind 
Still You hear me when I'm calling 
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling 
And You've told me who I am 
I am Yours 

Not because of who I am 
But because of what You've done 
Not because of what I've done 
But because of who You are 

I am a flower quickly fading 
Here today and gone tomorrow 
A wave tossed in the ocean 
Vapor in the wind 
Still You hear me when I'm calling 
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling 
And You've told me who I am 
I am Yours 

I am Yours 
Whom shall I fear 
Whom shall I fear 
'Cause I am Yours 
I am Yours

And then everything suddenly had a point. I knew exactly why, and what for.

Rainy days, gloomy skies.

2008-10-25T12:06:00.000+08:00

Senior Year, or, A Day in My Shoes.

2008-10-23T16:20:00.000+08:00

Whatever to pressure. Im'ma blog and ramble a little before sinking into a hotseat of quiz cramming for English, Math, Chinese and Econ. Respectively.

First of all, my feet are gargantuan. Well, not really, but for my size, it is. I'm a size 7-8, and pretty soon a 9. It's kinda creepy, but I actually really like my feet, haha!!! They're long, and they look good on any shoe.

I'd started counting down to my birthday since three days ago. Not really sweet 16. More like petrifying. :)) But, 9 days to go. Wala daw surprise on my birthday kasi holiday na daw, sabi nila kanina sa bithday bash/surprise namin for Elle. Happy sweet 16 Madurr!!! Labshoooo. Sarap ng cake. ;)

I have ISSUES to settle. If you catch my drift. Crap this EIC job. I'm SO sorry.
Butcha know what? Since the last meeting, I really haven't been able to shake off the optimism. Ang weird. And bukas pa kami magpa-pic; parang nauna muna yata lahat, :))

MAGPA-PIC. Humility had its picture-taking kanina. We were kind of caught off guard, right in the middle of English. Nagpaka-ewan kami sa CR hanggang sa tinawag na kami, grabe, talagang nagvanity time kami. :)) Once there, grabe, ang bilis. We kept screaming "wacky! wacky", pero nung wacky na talaga, hindi na namin alam kung paano magpose. I'll miss every single vanity shot, nerdcores. A whole year of cheese-ing and cam whoring.

QUOTED in the girls CR:
Sam: Graduate na ta!!!!!!!!
Kami lahat: AAAWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Cesly: Ok ra na. Naa pa tay Math!
Kami: :))

Tapos yung activity pa namin sa English, The Rubaiyat ni Omar Khayyam, the part that goes

Ah, make the most of what we yet may spend,
Before we too into the Dust descend;
Dust into Dust, and under Dust to lie
Sans Wine, sans Song, sans Singer, and--sans End!

The sheet was actually borrowed from 2nd year English, for paragraph making. How in the world did we remember from so far back? Easy. Nakalagay pa yung pangalan ni Maam Relyn sa sheet. I was instantly pulled back to three years ago. Ang dami nang nangyari, ang dami nang nagbago. Pati nga si Maam Relyn wala na sa DCHS :'[ And now we're here, halfway through the year to the end. With all the flurry of the White and Blue all the time now, there's no escaping the feeling.

Wala sina Mama sa bahay pagdating ko. I usually like having the house to myself, pero man, gutom na ko, wala naman silang iniwan na ulam. Luto-luto na lang, weeee :))

Oh shut up, Kit.
~~I plan to survive this school year.~~
No, scratch that. Surviving is for losers, planning for pessimists.
I am living it out.
Yipee. :D

BUZZ!!! Please answer this question, emergency!!!

2008-10-23T15:43:00.000+08:00

Guys tulong pleeeeaaaaaasse, for CE class due tomorrow. Pakisagot ng tanong: What are the responsibilities of Christians against competing worldviews? (e.g. false religions, etc.) Suuuuuper thanks.

Yes, I know, dapat hindi talaga ako nagcram. But we were puckering up our Physics project when we were supposed to do it, and, well...time just slipped. :D Heeeeeeeelp!!!

Thanks a thousand times, ^_^

Surprise.

2008-10-17T01:03:00.000+08:00

I can't get the picture in, sorry.

After five months of wallowing in my tears (haha!), something finally went right. Or at least, semi-right.

What in the world am I talking about?

Hillstar meeting. Yeah, that one, with the funny face on the bulletin board announcement that was yesterday (since right now it's like dawn on the 17th.). I don't think I can ever forget that meeting. I mean, I might forget the date, and time, and even the place and the people and what we talked about, but I'll never forget that it was the first meeting that made me feel like we could actually go somewhere.

I had three simple agendas, and these were what we accomplished:

We are going to meet every week, and we decided on Mondays (thank God, walang nakaharang in the way of violin practices and Wednesday night service). Staffers need to watch out on flag ceremonies or posts on the bulletin board to see if we don't have meetings. Finally, they're not just going to pass by it. :))

Projects. Inggit ~~sila~~ kami sa SC and sa other orgs, dami na nilang nagawa. Pero kung marami na silang nagawa, I pointed out, marami pa kaming magagawa. We have 5 months to burn all our effort and creative juices on. Part I of this agenda was about the students. How to get them involved and how to be of service to them. Part II of the agenda was us. How we were supposed to encouarge each other to work on this thing. Grabe, kapag projects. This was where everyone was active and overexcited!!! I loved everyone's ideas!!! And this was also what took us so long: the meeting lasted for a whole hour. ;)

Assignments. People were a little more scattered (that's also owing to the fact that the food finally came and Maam Cathy and Aldwin who came with the brownies were talking to the people at the back, not at all in relation to the meeting, I suppose) and unenthusiastic, and I knew they would be. This is the huge crux of our organization, this actual work we are supposed to do, and where all the great burden of the first issue came from. But everyone participated well enough, and that's settled, although it's all the more promises to break.

I got cold feet all the way before we started. I was in a trauma of the four past meetings that did not feel like meetings at all. They were cold, people did not attend, and I hardly felt like we accomplished anything together. In a word, I was truly terrified.

Some people came in early, so we started early, a little past five. Some came late, some didn't come at all. Most were involved, some were noisy; some were neither. At some part of the meeting I found everyone who was participating pushing me up the wall, surrounding the teachers' table, and they wanted to stay that way, they wanted their ideas first out and right in my face, and I had no problem with that. Minsan, offtopic kami at laging may mga side jokes and side comments, some stupid, some genuinely funny, some GROSS (eurgh talaga, staffers, EEEK.), some impossible, and whatever.

After the meeting, I craned up to see the time; all I knew was that it was already dark out. I blinked hard over and over again: it was past six. And I was hoping it would be all of 15 minutes.

So. Some people might say this is not a good booster for others, but this is my blog, and my memories, and I totally think they should be given even just a little credit in this miniscule way. People in attendance on the Hillstar meeting of the 16th of October at 5:05PM at the IV-Humility room:

Cesly Pauline Baguio. Haziel Cacdac. Samuel Chueh. Loui Contemplo. Dianne Du. Vanessa Dumago. Ryan Ho. Christian Rem Iman (laaaaate!).You Mi Jun. Dave Patrick Luy. Sharmaine Dianne Mamaed. Justin Shinn Ng. Margareth Grace Ng. Cafe Pauline Orbe. Therese Suy Te. John Danson Uy. Kit Frias ;) Occasionally dropping in, Tifany Jan Atega (may badminton practice siya and Missionsfest work for Arts Club. Grabe ka-in demand.)
*Nalingaw ako sa whole names nila, ecept kay Keeshia. :))

18 people out of 22. Miracle of all miracles.

Boo! Surpriiiiise! :D

It's October.

2008-10-11T03:52:00.000+08:00

State: Near tears.

I started this school year with huge hopes and big goals. I mapped it all out in my head, even thinking I can give great big allowances in time.

Oh, but come on. It's October. Wala pa ring Hillstar.

I am just so frustrated. I've spent sleepless nights on this. And I am tired, and I am frustrated. I feel like I'm in this alone. Maybe it's still my fault, you know, cause I'm not a great leader and not someone everyone would follow and everything. But I don't see anyone's heart in this. I have sick, lazy workers and an adviser that doesn't care one freaking bit. Oh, was that too much? I don't care. Pagod na ko. Ilang buwan na akong nagtratrabaho dito. I see everyone despising me for not being able to release a single issue, and yet these people don't even act when they're supposed to. Wala sa meeting. Late magsubmit. Hindi inaasikaso yung trabaho nila. Pag kinakausap mo, might as well nasa ibang lugar na lang sila. I feel like I'm expected to do everything. Honestly, kung pwede lang, kahit hindi na lagyan ng pangalan lahat ng aticle, ako na alng gagawa lahat. Ayoko nang umasa sa kanila dahil wala naman silang pakialam. I am just so freaking tired of tolerating people.

Oh, help.

Quotes.

2008-10-07T08:20:00.000+08:00

Check out the quotes. They were given as a comment to me by a Filipino teacher from way back in sixth grade, Miss Zam ;) I know they're passe, but they're so cool. :D And true, too.

Ditties. Fevers. Make-up Exams.

2008-10-06T17:52:00.000+08:00

Ditties
If you know how the Sunday School song "Oh, How I Love Jesus" goes, come and sing along. :)) I'm sorry to all my Math teachers and Sunday School teachers. I was singing it while I was studying for tomorrow's exams. I just caught myself singing it. My brother kept looking over at my work and my mom kept asking me if I needed help from my dad or my brother, like the song connotes that I was in deep Math blankness.

Oh, how I hate Algebra
Oh, how I hate Algebra-aa-aa
Oh, how I hate Algebra
Because it first hated me-eeeeeeeee!!!

I am only half joking.

Oh yeah, and don't extend the "cause" syllable into two notes the way it does in the original version, because "hated" eats up two syllables, unlike in the original where "loved" needs just one.

Fevers
Gross. I am more prone to getting sick than ever before. This is my third absence this year. And it fell upon the first exam day. I am really the best at timing. One of these days, my teachers are going to give it up and not believe in my excuse slips anymore. Hey, maybe they'll kick me out. Whaddya know.

I hate this.

Oh yeah, and much love to 48 for the flooded inbox. ♥

Make-up Exams
I know it makes perfect sense to them, but it doesn't to me. I have heard many preposterous school rules, having been in six schools my whole life, like when I was in sixth grade my school didn't allow any other color of hair accessories except blue, white, and black (it was a Benedictine school. Hey Agnesians!). But this one, aside from topping a lot of others, is a whole lot of trouble.

To be excused on sick absences, you need a medical certificate.

For one thing, ever since my huge asthma attacks way back that were needed to check into the hospital, my parents usually home-treat me. They're geniuses, really. They know which medicines were good to take, and knew stuff to make you feel better and get better faster. And most normal people I know, or knew, did that, too.

But apparently, everyone in Davao Christian goes to the hospital when they get a teeny flu that just needed to rest at home or something.

I usually just get one from the nurse, but Taba said that doesn't work when you're excusing from exams.

Okay, okay. I know not many people are honest anymore, even parents. But, come on. Check-ups are a real bother, plus having to pay just for that piece of paper??? I know most people don't go to the hospital because they don't need to, too. So they pay. I pity my schoolmates. Plus myself.

So we tried calling an uncle who was a military doctor in Panacan, who could just give us the slip and not charge us for it (duh). And just, my luck, ooohh, he went to Manila.

Since it was already nighttime (my parents had other stuff to do), we tried to look for some clinics around. No go.

Goodness.

Oh, yeah. And try studying for FOUR exams??? Those four subjects being Econ, Filipino, Math and English??? (I didn't get to study much over the weekend, since, you know, the fever...)Oooooohhhh...it's a good thing I like Econ. ;)

Survey. I love surveys. :D

2008-10-04T14:30:00.000+08:00

From my ultimate source of surveys, Rod. Thanks. :D

01. Your name plus "poo"
Kitpoo. Ahaha!
02. Two feelings at the moment?
Sleepy. Stressed.
03. What are you listening to right now?
Electric fan humming.
04. A part of a song lyric that's in your mind?
Nothing, sorry.
10. Your three plans for tomorrow?
Church. Church. Get happy cause I'm going to church. :D
11. Are you thinking of someone right now?
No. Yes. Maybe.
12. Are you single?
Single and unavailable. ;)
13. Say something to the person who posted this.
Miss you, honeyyy.
14. What do you want?
Sleep and everything with the first issue to go right.
15. Say anything you like to whoever is reading your answers?
I love you for reading. You know, like you care. :))
16. Are you feeling hungry?
Always. :))
17. Who do you miss right now?
Many people, including Rod who posted this.
18. Last friend you talked to online?
So long. Don't remember.
19. What do you like about the night?
Stars. Starsstarsstars.
20. If you visit a farm, what would you like to see?
The whole moolah: the animals, the house, the food. Everything.
21. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
A teacher or a doctor. Wow.
22. Last gift?
An innocent yet thoughtful piece of candy. :))
23. Did you like it?
Secretly, yes.
24. Do you play an instrument?
:D Yes.
25. What song did you last hear?
The theme song to Hannah Montana?
26. Person you hate most?
I should hate no one. :D
27. Who makes you laugh the most?
Stupid jokes. The really corny ones, like my review teachers cracked.
28. What makes you smile?
This question just did.
29. Who do YOU have a crush on?
My, my, that was straightforward.
30. In two words, explain what ended your last " relationship"?
Riiight. Not Applicable. Nice answer, Rod. (followed suit with his answer)
31. When was the last time you shaved?
Uhhh, okay...
32. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?
I wasn't taking track of time.
33. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
I wasn't taking track of time either. probably surfing.
34. Are you any good at math?
OhmygoodnessnoI'mHORRIBLE.
35. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Dunno.
36. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
I don't think so.
37. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile?
There is no song, and I do not have a MySpace profile.
38. Last thing received in the mail?
The Wesleyan orientation message and the 4 ebooks I requested. :D
39. How many different beverages have you drank today?
Huh. One. Just water. Good for me! ;)
40. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
Nope, never have. Hindi uso ang answering machine sa Pilipinas. :))
41. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
Ohmigosh. I am so ashamed. Star Circle Quest Season 1.
42. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Yeah, I just did. Pero hindi yun yung napicturan ko.
43. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
The first time my dentist used this thing to hold my lips apart and my mouth open. For about an hour. My jaw felt anesthetized.
44. What is out your back door?
Do we have a back door?
45. Any plans for Friday night?
Pig-out. No classes, woohoo!
46. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
ABSOLUTELY!!! It's better than any conditioner or shampoo.
47. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
Hmmm, no. I never knew about that.
48. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yup. Stiff neck!!!
49. Something you are excited about?
THAT day. :D Oh yeah, and tomorrow.
50. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
I just love Jello. And the flavors don't taste much different from each other.
51. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
No. I wish I met them, I heard they were fantastic. :D
52. Describe your keychain:
Which?
53. Where do you keep your change?
They're spent before they ever even get to be kept.
54. When was the last time you spoke in public?
Kind along ago.
55. What kind of winter coat do you have?
There is no winter in the Philippines.
56. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Sunny just the way i like it: lemony. :D

Nerdcore goes Online.

2008-09-23T16:57:00.000+08:00

The ~~Hottest~~ Nerdiest Thing Ever to Arrive on Multiply.

The Humility Batch '09 Multiply Site

It doesn't have any content yet, but I'm pretty sure it will soon.

Go nerdcores. :D

I love Chico. That's why.

2008-09-23T15:49:00.000+08:00

You tricked me. Marriiiiieeeeeeee!!!

[1] (2 Points) My name: Marie (Stephanie)
[2] (4 Points) My last name: Lim
[3] (6 Points) My middle name: Panganiban, right?
[4] (2 Points) Where did we meet: School. Dhoiy.
[5] (4 Points) What am I afraid of: Hmmm...
[6] (2 Points) Do I smoke : No
[7] (3 Points) Do I drink: Of course. Paano ka mabubuhay ng walang liquid intake??? Joke. No, if the other meaning.
[8] (2 Points) Do I have any siblings: Duh.
[9] (3 Points) How many: I'm not sure. I'll go 2 or 3, or 4? Basta I'm sure of your shobe and an older brother.
[10] (3 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do: Eat ice cream.
[11] (2 Points) How many piercings do I have: 2? Never ventured into that.
[12] (4 Points) How many boyfriends have I had: I dunno. You tell me. :))
[13] (4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing: Outgoing. That's an understatement.
[14] (3 Points) What's the name of my school: Davao Christian High School. Hula lang yan. :))
[15] (2 Points) Whats my favorite color: I think it was blue, same as mine. Pero baka orange na. :))
[16] (3 Points) Name something I hate: Dave when he dropped your cellphone way back.
[17] (4 Points) Name a talent that I have: Posing for cameras.
[18] (4 Points) What's my phone number: You owe me that one.
[19] (2 Points) Who am I dating/liking right now: He's why I said orange in # 15. I know his name, too, just not very comfortable typing it down for some reason.
[20] (5 Points) How long have I been dating/liking them: Ever since, I think.
[21] (4 Points) Do I have any pets: Oh YEAH.
[22] (4 Points) Who's my childhood superhero? Your dad yata.
[23] (6 points) What's my complete address? Crap ka. Hindi ako adik sayo. Basta Juan Luna.
[24] (3 points) What's my YM id? You know what? I don't know. You owe me on that one too.
[25] (5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring: Me, honey. ME. And lots of Arce Cookies and Cream Ice Cream.

Dear me. I realize how much I know about you. Miss you girl. Wanna sleepover-slash-farm. And make sushi and slosh around wasabe blind and eat Koko Crunch and chat all night.

71-80 Points; Lover♥♥♥
61-70 Points; Best Friend♥♥
51-60 Points; Great Friend.♥
41-50 Points; Friend.
31-40 Points; You should hang out with me more! Ask me when.
21-30 Points; Either you're a crappy friend, or you're a new friend!
00-20 Points; You don't know me

THAT Monday.

2008-09-23T01:23:00.000+08:00

Had my share of freaks (talk about Freaky Monday), but nothing too bad, something really sweet, and something huge. :))

Physics: Straw Towers. Explains why no one, except Physics teachers and psychologists in leadership training, likes to break sturdiest and tallest building records with STRAWS.

English: There went my usual great timing with teachers. I always get picked on, hated, or whatever. I was just discussing with myself why I went wrong (and that was since I didn't read up on the sheet, and everyone around me was wailing over Maam Hazel's answers, and then she tells me I was murmuring, and told the whole class--no, batch--so. Perfect.

Math: A lot of nosebleeding, as usual. And I noticed: Dio is becoming more and more like Sir Oca. Every day. Sir Oca should be so proud. :))

(Dio loves to pick on Cherry. Lagi ko ngang naiisip kung sila magkatuluyan. Hmmm.)
Cherry: Wala na bang requiz ngayon?
Dio: Requiz? Requiz? You're REQUIZting for a requiz???

:)) Grabe hagikgik ko nung Math.

Lunch: Finally paid my lib fees. P98--talo niyo yun???

TLE: I wonder when I'll ever finish with that damned game. I never really knew what I wanted to make.

Chinese: Siensi got a new hairstyle. I love her talaga. One and half of our discussed lessons lang ang exam namin. Yaaay.

Recess: Broke my chocolate pact concerning my Speak Tagalog campaign. Madz walks out of helping me with it. :)) (I wasn't supposed to have chocolate until the end of the day, if I didn't speak Bisaya the whole day.)

Filipino: We read an (in my mind, it was some sort of blogpost) opinion on balbal Tagalog. That was kinda cool. Right, mga 'tol??? (Ewww. I am such a dork.)

CE: Walang Econ??? :)) After Achi Sherry discussed the sequence of events of the rapture, she gave us rest of the period off. Sam and I went out to go to the CR. And THEN we discovered that cake on the white chair, with the pack of forks on top. We were actually horrified, because someone might have wanted to surprise us all and we were afraid we ruined it. But after a little common sense in the CR, it was clear that leaving it there for us to discover it was how we were supposed to find about the surprise. We brought it in, and the look on everyone's faces was ecstatic plus famished. Sweeeeeeet. There was no doubt who gave the "anonymous" cake. Thank yooooouuuu for now; I'll flatter you later in person.

And I discover we have a ton of assignments. I bring home Physics, Math, English, TLE, Filipino, with all their respective sheets and portfolios and books. We had CE, too, but I just stokced it up for later since all those subjects on their own was kinda pushing it already. Fell asleep on Filipino last night. Woke up at three to finish studying. Man, they're brutal. :))

THAT Monday.

2008-09-23T01:22:00.000+08:00

Speechfest 08 - Lessons.

2008-09-20T03:47:00.000+08:00

I keep asking God, in my prayers, to continue refining me and purifying my heart. That's kind of the easy way to say it. But in the pessimist's point of view, it's like asking God to give me trials, to give me pain. Because in chastening, we are tried to our ability, brought down to our weaknesses, and then become whole when we call on Him

Do you know this song?

Refiner's Fire

There burns a fire with sacred heat
White hot with holy flame
And all who dare pass through its blaze
Will not emerge the same
Some as bronze, and some as silver
Some as gold, then with great skill
All are hammered by their sufferings
On the anvil of His will

The Refiner's fire
Has now become my souls desire
Purged and cleansed and purified
That the Lord be glorified
He is consuming my soul
Refining me, making me whole
No matter what I may lose
I choose the Refiner's fire

I'm learning now to trust His touch
To crave the fire's embrace
For though my past with sin was etched
His mercies did erase
Each time His purging cleanses deeper
I'm not sure that I'll survive
Yet the strength in growing weaker
Keeps my hungry soul alive

I claim this song. This explains why life can never be sad, because our victories are His blessings and our failures are His might working in us, perfecting us, making us whole.

And I know practically everyone will say this is the most lame and sore excuse I've ever given. But I never hold for excuses, only reasons. And this, this refining, this is why I don't have an event for Speechfest.

I was sore, let me tell you, at first. I was sick and absent when the sign-ups and assigning for Speechfest took place, and everything was instantly taken. Buti na lang alam ni Madz na gusto ko mag-Song In, or else, wala siguro akong role sa Speechfest. But it did not make sense that some people had two, three, and even four events in Speechfest whereas some are barely getting by doing something they hate. No one is allowed to not have a participation in Speechfest, because it's a requirement in English. Unless you want a zero, of course.

Nanggagalaiti ako. There were absolutely no spots left. People took a bazillion spots for themselves. Ang heaping infamy upon infamy, these people who took up more roles than they could carry came to me, asking for help. Saying that ako yung magaling sa ganun, na kailangan daw nila tulong ko kasi hindi daw sila magaling sa ganun. At aba, tatanungin pa ako kung bakit hindi na lang daw ako yung sumali dun sa event na yun. Oh my goodness. The nerve.

I never really realized how hard this was for some people. I know someone who wanted to join Song In but didn't because her friends would run out of slots to join, and she could join other events. See, in another point of view, Song Interpretation is one of the events that equalizes everyone. There is no need to have super excellent skills to join, just a little grace and ability to follow instructions, and it is always in dire need of the number needed (which is, I think, 26) for each class, so it's one of the events that makes sure everyone gets to join.

Anyway, so I was sore about not having an event other than Song In, a craft that I could call my own. Yes, you can call me bad names and swear now. Nasty selfish person, right? I thought I had a right to have a craft that centered on me because I thought I was good at English. That took a long time to admit and to form in words because it makes me sound horrible, but there. I am stupid, selfish, vain and horrible. Go on.

It dawned on me when we were praying for winning Song In. I'd actually conceived the thought around the middle of the program, but it never really hit me in the face until then. My adviser said that the last time we prayed like that was winning for Nutrition Month. After prayer, I remembered: Poster Making Contest. First Place.

Speechfest events were something I thought I deserved because I thought I was good at English, but I didn't even get a part. Poster Making is something that I could never win, let alone join, and yet I got to join, and won. I didn't deserve it: I offered myself as assistant because the event was drawing near and Tifany didn't have a partner yet. Tifany could do it alone if she was allowed to go solo while everyone else worked in pairs.

II Cor 12:6-7, 9-10:
"For though I would desire to glory, I shall not be a fool; for I will say the truth: but now, I forbear, lest any man should think of me above which he seeth me to be, or heareth of me. And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me...And he said unto me My grace is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

John 3:30
"He must increase, but I must decrease."

And after the drama of our last shot at Song In, this song, which was Honesty's song for their interpretation, drove me to tears. You know, the whole senior last-everything thing. The bold part is the breakdown point.

When I
Look into those bright eyes
So young
Always so ready to run
Then I
See your change when fun subsides
And new colors start to arise
There's a hidden picture
That wasn't seen outside

When you run, don't tire
Keep on reaching, higher
Even when the pain and trouble bring you down, sometimes
I will see you through
I'm forever right here with you
Even when you feel you don't need me around

I will be your friend, forever
I will be your one, big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
When I hear you call

Don't cry
This is not the end, nor goodbye
But begin
To know I'm with you 'til the end
And when you pray
I will hear every word you say
And so with all my promises made
For one like you
Someone who's especially made

When you run, don't tire
Keep on reaching, higher
Even if the pain and trouble bring you down, sometimes
I will see you through
I'm forever right here with you
Even if you feel you don't need me around

I will be your friend, forever
I will be your one, big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
...
Lift you when you fall
When I hear you call.

To God be the Glory. :D

Speechfest 08 - Nerdcores Go Hardcore.

2008-09-20T02:53:00.000+08:00

So before I do this, let me just say that the Song Interpretation is probably the most coveted prize in Speechfest, especially for seniors. It's the only event that represents a section.

It started out in chaos. We hated our song. We hated our choreo. We hated not being able to practice when we so wanted to get our game on already.

In the beginning...we were so bummed out.

Then Abby found a David Phelps song none of us had heard of before. Well, we don't know who David Phelps is either, only that he has the same last name as the Michael who set the new record for the most number of medals in the Beijing Olympics. :)) Kung tutuusin, every since last year, our songs weren't popular. Most classes got the carrier singles of CCM albums or something. Yung last year na You're Still You, it was Josh Groban, but no one knew had heard of it before. Nabawasan nga kami ng points kasi hindi daw malinaw na si God yung "You" dun sa song. Ganun yun ka-unknown.

Anyway, we had two song choices. We were the only ones who hadn't picked out our song or started on choreo yet. We totally hated the first song: it was rock. But when No More Night was played, we were all enchanted. It was an amazing song. We screamed for it.

No More Night
Performed by David Phelps
Words & music by Walt Harrah

The timeless theme, Earth and Heaven will pass away.
It’s not a dream, God will make all things new that day.
Gone is the curse from which I stumbled and fell.
Evil is banished to eternal hell.

No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying again.
And praises to the great "I AM."
We will live in the light of the risen Lamb.

See all around, now the nations bow down to sing.
The only sound is the praises to Christ, our King.
Slowly the names from the book are read.
I know the King, so there’s no need to dread.

No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying again.
And praises to the great "I AM."
We will live in the light of the risen Lamb.

See over there, there’s a mansion, oh, that’s prepared just for me,
Where I will live with my savior eternally.

No more night. No more pain.
No more tears. Never crying again.
And praises to the great "I AM."
We will live in the light of the risen Lamb.

All praises to the great "I AM."
We’re gonna live in the light of the risen Lamb.

And then came disagreements. We all clashed with everything: practice times, steps to the choreo, and of course, being stuck and trying to think of what comes next. We were behind every other class, who were finished, and we were hardly even started.

And then we understood what went wrong. Or specifically, what we did wrong. It was not choreo, it was not song choice.

We did not have God.

Since then, we prayed before and after every single practice.

And THEN somehow, we got through. We got periods off for practicing. Our song started to finally build up from where it was stuck. And we got closer, started listening to each other. People really wanted to practice. It was amazing what the Holy Spirit can accomplish.

A lot of things went unplanned after it was too late to change anything.For one thing, the costume was all wrong. We were going for white satin, and filmy see-through gold sleeves. We got white nursing cloth and scotch tape-yellow sleeves. Which were kind of short, by the way. Choreo also shifted around a lot. We had trouble transferring from small practice areas to the wide audi stage. But these problems, which sound big in words, went by easily.

I don't know about everyone else, but I did not feel queasy at all.

We were kind of going wild around ToPo. Some of us didn't have our makeup yet, some didn't even have their costumes. When we got to the back and the stage cleared out from ToPo and for us, we hesitated like we couldn't believe it was our turn, that this was it.

And I don't about everyone else, but I knew God was with me while I was up there. I made no mistakes (hooray! I usually do in Song In) except for briefly stepping on my skirt while standing up. It went by perfectly, in a flash of scotch-tape yellow...este, gold.

And I do know this: when the crowd screamed and roared with applause, we went crazy with delight, though we were frozen to our last positions and it was the end and the lights went out on us. I mean, these people were our competition, and they were clapping for us. And they weren't supposed to clap at all, because everyone was supposed to clap only after every class had finished. We gave the same support to our fellow fourth year batchmates, who came after we did, but we couldn't clap so hard or they wuld be disqualified, so we just waved around our hands like monkeys. I bet they had a hard time trying not to laugh.

When a 15-minute break was called before awarding and Earth Wind and Fire's Dancing in September came on us, we boogied like there was no tomorrow. Imagine the nerdcore not going to recess!!! :))

AND. When Maam Hazel said, after a long pampa-climax pause, "Humility", we went mental. All those hours of practices. Bickerings, shouting. The expensive costume that didn't even amount to our expectations, the tiresome polishing, the body aches and the bruises, even to the last scurrying around. They were all worth it.

After endless batch and class pictorials (and even after), we called for the one thing that got us through: prayer. Our adviser led, saying that kailan lang, nagprayer din kami after winning first the Home Setting for the Nutrition month.

People say that we won kasi magaling naman talaga kami, because we were the first section, because we were seniors, etc. They can go on and on. But I know we won because we were truly blessed and guided. It's not our hand playing at this. It's His.

To God be the Glory.

Speechfest 08

2008-09-20T02:10:00.000+08:00

Everyone's posted the pictures. Nakakadiscourage na tuloy magpost, haha.

So in the spirit of the Speechfest high we're all having, I'm spending this morning writing a series of posts on everything I should have been writing about Speechfest this week. Ayoko nang ilagay sa isang post: pati ako, tinatamad magbasa ng sarili kong sinulat.

My forever documents of my high school life. Must run before I forget what comes next. ;)

09/12. 21.

2008-09-13T05:15:00.000+08:00

My dad woke too early yesterday morning for I don't know why. Mama was still asleep, and then he suddenly crept into the room, climbed into bed, and with a big hug, told her:

"Sweetheart, 21 years na tayong nagtitiisan sa isa't-isa!!!"

Happy 21st anniversary for my parents.

I adore my parents in every way. I truly do. I have looked up to them since I was little, and whether I get married, move away, or do something with else with my life, I will always love them and be their girl. ;)

Here are 21 things I know and will never forget about them. Bordering on the funny to the serious:

They're a faithful Christian couple. ;) If nothing else, they are.
They got married at 33. 33 years to wait for your true love. For my dad, she was the only right after many wrongs. For my mom, he was her first and last. See, true love might have to wait. And from what I can see, it is so worth it.
My mom was once my dad's boss. :)) They met in work kasi. But my dad rose to equal power in another department.
My dad courted not with flowers, I tell you. He thinks flowers are for dead people. And do you have any idea what he thinks are for courting? CRABS. Fresh and grown and alive in bayongs, from their own farm.
It was kind of an accident, since that was the only bus with aircon back then; sinagot ni mama si papa on the Love Bus.
If you saw that last movie with Anne Curtis and Aga Muhlach, there was a line that said "No demand, no expectation." Years ago, that was the exact line my mom told my dad nung naging sila. Walang originality si Anne Curtis.
They taught us to be selfless, to put other people before ourselves. In conversations, in decisions, in everything, we were taught to condition our hearts not for ourselves, but for others.
They're not perfect. They've had fights and misunderstandings. But in relation to #7, they put others before themselves. They conquered, and they stayed. Wouldn't have it in any other way. Love conquers talaga! And they called each other "sweetheart" for as long as I can remember, kaso nga lang pina-ikli kaya parang "sitaart".
After 21 years, love and marriage can still be sweet. It may be old and gray and weathered, at times even cranky and menopausal, but there's nothing like true love. ;)
They're big on adventure. Daredevil plus scaredy-cat. In my lifetime, I've been able to discover places and people off the beaten road, gotten inside lines I shouldn't have, gotten discounts that were never there, seen and experienced things no one my age has, even entered private no-trespassing places. But see, my dad's cunning and my mom's going along with his outrageous ideas, got us the best adventures that no one could ever have had.
Now and always, they are superheroes to me. In their work, in raising us up, even in small things like cutting out clouds and making kites. More than Superman and Darna.
They are superb cooks. And I'm not the only one who said so. Whatever they cook tastes fantastic. They brought us up with a taste for good food, and that there is no final label to food: mapa-Gloria Maris or turo-turo by the road, good food does not lie in names and prices.
Everything about being jologs, corny, aanga-anga and laughing, I learned from them. Walang tatapat. Lahat ng pagiging fishball, kwek-kwek, singer, joker, beachwalk, puruntong...lahat yan natutunan namin sa kanila. Lalung-lalo na yung pagkanta up-to-sawa.
They love to travel. I'm blessed to have been able to tag along in their journeys. Kahit hindi pa ako nakakalabas ng Pilipinas, everything they brought me to see in my own country is not even anything just anyone has ever seen. Seryoso! Ang galing nila lagi humanap ng gimik.
Ang gagaling din mambola. They're very good with people, and they can talk their way out of everything; traffic penalties (every single one I've seen, as far as I can tell), overdues, waiting in lines, guidance counselors...they know what people want to hear. Aside from that, they're good actors. It's not tricking people, really. It's just pushing them to admit they can be wrong, and that what they think isn't such a bad idea. :))
Grabe sila kamapag-bigay sa min. Do you know that line "isusubo na lang, ibibigay pa..."? It usually applies to parents who love their children. For us, literal ang meaning nun: kapag gusto namin yung kinakain nila, isusubo na lang nila, ibibigay pa sa min. :)) Bwahahahaha.
They value knowledge. They value books, learning, reading, exploring, tasting, discovering, experiencing. They've always taught us that wisdom is a priceless treasure. That is why we grew up seeing countless movies and having countless books in open shelves everywhere, and having countless, endless coversations about what's on our mind and what's in life.
They value people. Kaya nga selflessness. They value love, friendship and belief. They value manners and virtue.
God before anything else. Always. Unconditionally. Eternally.
We've slipped, fell, and gone our way though we weren't supposed to. And we keep coming back, and they keep accepting us. We've hurt them, disrespected them, disobeyed them, but they have never truly totally cast us off in their hearts and in their lives, unlike other parents who just give up on their children. They know their responsibility and role as loving, Godly parents.
They raised us up to be God-fearing, opinioned, outspoken and selfless. I would forever be grateful for their efforts of putting us into the right. They have done everything for us out of love, and what was best for us. I cannot imagine and want any better way to have grown up, and neither can I imagine and want any better parents.

To 21 years, and ongoing, of love, family, faith and FUN!
Happy anniversary. >.<

Read. Write. Edit. [LONG. Very.]

2008-09-12T16:15:00.000+08:00

When I was little and didn't go to school yet, I always wanted to learn so badly, especially to read. Mukmok nga ako lagi kapag si Kiwi (my older bro) papunta sa school tapos ako hindi pa rin nakakapuntang school. Lalo na kapag umuuwi siya tapos parang ang daming niyang natututunan sa school, tapos ako wlaang ma-say sa usapan kasi bobong bata pa ako.My mom was my first reading teacher. She bought this small yellow reading book for beginners, kasing liit at nipis lang ng mga Aesop's fables na cheap at tigki-kinse lang. Everyday, we had a new lesson from the book. I couldn't think of any more superb way to have learned how to read. Ang galing nung librong yun.

When I learned how to read, lahat ng mababasa, binabasa ko: our house had open shelves of books everywhere, and I would read stories, novels, magazines, how-tos, even encyclopedias!!! :)) Nerdcore talaga. Kapag lalabas kami, sa SLEX, pampalipas traffic, pinapabasa sa amin lahat ng billboard. That, and looking for Volkswagen cars. :D At lahat nga ng mababasa, matatake-note ko: brochures, store signs, everything. Kaya magaling ako makahanap ng lugar, kasi maaalala ko kung anong nabasa ko dun. :D

Then I started being amazed by what I read. I thought that if I was the person behind the words, I must have a really amazing mind!!! I started to empathize with the story characters and writers. Yung dialogue nila, the way they used words, yung mga phrases and idioms and their vocabularies. Natatak yun lahat sa utak ko.

Tapos nagkaroon ng cable. Important part to, dahil sa Blue's Clues at lahat ng Nick Jr shows sa Nickelodeon ako natuto ng fluent English. At sobrang crush ko nun si Steve, pero drug addict na daw siya ngayon. :)) Dahil sa cable, na may dala ng english shows, ang tataas ng grades ko sa English ng walang aral, yipee!!! That, and todo-todo talaga ako magbasa. Yun yung time talaga na kung anong makita ko, babasahin ko. Yung old english books ng kapatid ko, hinahanap ko yung stories.

Tapos dumating ang grade 4. Around grade 3, I heard of something from my brother called essays. Yung ipapasulat sila ng isang paragraph na aabutin sila ng isang oras kakaisip ng kung anong isusulat. I pined for that, kasi diba, yung mga tumatak sa isip ko, gustung-gusto kong gamitin, at dumating nung grade 4. New school, and first day pa lang, pinasulat kami ng isang paragraph about our summer vacation. Ang sinulat ko, nung bday ni papa tapos umakyat kami ng Taal. Enjoy ako nun, my very first essay. Pag tingin ko, ako pa lang tapos. Nagrewrite ako. Ako pa rin lang tapos. Inulit-ulit kong binasa yung essay ko. Halong super proud at super insecure ako nun. Baka kasi yung akala kong pagkaganda-ganda sa kin, ang sagwa pala sa iba, kaya mas matatagal sila. Laking gulat ko na lang nung binalik sa kin, tapos sabi nung teacher, i-rewrite ko daw. Natakot ako. Akala ko, ang ibig sabihin niya, rewrite as in ulitin. Yun pala, rewrite as in kopyahin ko sa papel at bigyan sila ng kopya, kasi ipapang-exhibit daw nila!!! First ever na na-establish sa utak ko na, uy, writing. Kaya pala. Dun din ako naging class president, nakatikim ng mataas na pulitika, kasi very coveted yung postion sa class na yun. Pang-VP lang kasi ako before that. :))

Lumipat ulit ako for grade 5. First time ko nakasali ng school publication. First time kong nakita pangalan ko sa school paper. Whoppee to the max. Tapos enjoy din yung english nun, kasi old school yun ng kapatid ko (wow, ang dami nga pa lang kinalaman ni Kiwi sa buhay ko), tapos may bonding sila nung english teacher. Actually, ng lahat ng teacher. Juvenile delinquent yung kapatid ko, at sa sobrang kabad boy, for some time, sa faculty siya kumakain ng lunch. :)) Pero nawala din yung legacy ng kapatid ko. My time to shine!!! :))

Grade 6. Best experiences ever. Mas seryoso yung publication sa nilipatan kong school (oo, lipat nanaman). Tapos malaki yung library, gigantic. Nakadiscover na rin ako ng internet. Nagtraining pa kami. Magaling yung adviser, tutok talaga kami. Tapos DSPC(Divisional). Sa awa ng Diyos, 1st, pero sa RSPC(Regional) 4th lang, tapos that year, cut-off ang 3rd, kahit nung previous years hanggang 7th ang napupunta sa national. Ang daya noh? Doon sumaksak sa brain ko: Journalist. Feature writer. At doon din ako nagsimulang mag-asam na one day, makakaEIC ako. Bwahahahaha!!! Ay, and since graduating year ko yun from elem, I bagged a Writer of the Year award. :D Here, solid ako (noon): I swore I would take Journalism or Mass Com. Oh yeah, and I also tried out for PHSA (Philippines High School for the Arts), pero hindi nakaya.

1st year. Medyo na-deads ako sa pagsusulat kasi walang publication, but I did my own writing. Got better at taking down notes and paying attention to details, and learning how to inject creativity. Mas na-enhance ako sa speaking naman. 2nd lang ako nung Declamation, pero I got emceeing jobs in school programs after that. :D Happy happy, joy joy...

2nd year. Whoa. Big move. Naging emo ang writing ko, medyo, pero super nag-grow ako in my writing, thanks to Maam Relyn (OMG I miss her talaga.). Biruin mo, natuto ako sumunod sa rules!!! Nakasali ulit sa big publication (Hillstar na yun: DCHS na ko nito), naka-essay writing competition, naka-Kadayawan covergae, na-interview si Sarah Geronimo. Ako din lang yung faithful umattend ng bawat meeting at sumali sa mga cover. :))

3rd year. Medyo namatay ulit ako dito. Iba kasi pinagkaabalahan ko, kasi naka 1st section na ulit ako (I mean from my previous schools. Patience ako nung 2nd year.) Tapos hindi pa kami masyadong active. Pero Feature Editor na ko nito, hindi lang ako naka-function. I started getting nerves and high hopes na ma-EIC ako, pero pinaubaya ko talaga yun kay God. At mas natuto rin ako sumunod ng rules, haha. NagDSPC kami, pero alam ko talagang tuyot at kulang kami sa practice. Si Lianne lang nakaabot ng Regional. We also had this newspaper project in Filipino. I finally got a taste for doing the editor thing. Omigosh, that project just wanted to go horribly bad for us, everything going wrong, pero in the end, tinanggap yung work namin kahit late ng isang araw at nakasubmit kami ng DALAWANG paper. (Accident yun) Yung yung sort of first baby ko. (As an editor-in-chief, your first baby is your first published issue. I learned that from Rod. Miss you guys!)

Summer yun before 4th year. One night, I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. Apat na oras ako gumulong-gulong sa kama. For some strange reason, wala akong maisip kundi Hillstar. How to make it better, what we can do, what we can change...nung hindi ko matiis dahil baka makalimutan ko lahat ng naisip ko, I typed it down on the computer. Nung natapos ako, sunrise na, and I had pages full of ideas and brainstorms. I knew I wanted, longed for that job.

4th year. Woo, pugsh, WEEE! Ayun na nga, after some deliberation, kahit matagal nang na-appoint, I finally swallowed the fact na hoy, EIC ako. The long lines of responsibilities stretched out before me. Like a human developing gills in water, I developed an additional sense, pero hindi pa extremely developed: extrasensory editor radar. Kapag may magandang nasulat, kapag may magandang masusulat, kung sinong magandang ipasulat...nakakabaliw. Basta bigla mo na lang marealize na wala kang maisip kundi yung kapakanan ng publication mo. For brief moments, completely attuned and devoted ang being mo sa pagiging EIC. It is a huge responsibility, and despite the long sleepless nights and running around and going nuts, especially these past weeks, it's also a huge joy.

As of now, I am in labor of my first official baby (I mean, we're layouting.). "Nagdalang-tao" ako for 3 agonizing months. I don't plan to take Journ or Mass Com anymore, but if God leads me there, I'll happily take it, and if not, I know that writing will never be taken out of my system. People are telling me it's the best choice for me though; but they don't know what's best for me, He does. ;) I long to do nothing but read, but 4th year is squishing the time and life out of me. But I still have dreams of sitting in a window seat with a stack of books and a plate of chocolate chip cookies beside me, just reading all day. I missed my chances in public speaking, hindi na ko pang-emcee material, thought someday I hope to do it again. I am elated, though, when my classmates are dead silent, listening, when I talk in class. (I love you, nerdcores!!!) May ilusyon din ako ng moderating a school paper in the future, or working for an official publication, kahit contributing lang. I feel the need to have to write and publish a book before I die. And I wish, someday, I will be able to pass this passion to someone--a daughter, a son, a student, or simply someone who knew me.

And is the story of my love affair with words. Haha. :p

:D

2008-09-09T18:38:00.000+08:00

Ilang araw na ko nag-aalboroto. Paano ba naman. My brother is having one of his addiction fits: anime nanaman ngayon. He's cornered the computer. Kung hindi siya nanonood o nagbabasa ng manga, nagdodownload naman. Ilang oras lang ako makahipo ng computer at mahiwalay siya, inis na inis na. We have to share one computer kasi. I'm begging for a laptop, but not until college daw. Right. When I've pined and died at it.

Anyway, after a few weeks of arguing and compromising, naisip ng bobong bata na bakit hindi ko gamitin yung computer sa office? Like, duh. Noon kasi, parang napapangitan at nalulumaan ako sa computer na yun. Wala pa dun yung files ko. Tapos nahihiya ako, kasi nga sa office yun, kahit nung una kong dating dito, yun yung lagi kong pinupunteriya dahil wala pa kaming computer na amin.

Wait, offtopic muna: tagalog yata ako ngayon. ;)

Anyway, ayun, in desperation to finish my editing without having to have the stress of arguing with my worthy screaming opponent of a brother, I made like a big girl and U-Hauled my stuff to the office computer. Haha, just kidding. Pero sa dami nga ng armas ko (school bag, folders, dummy papers, articles print-outs, lists, CUHVA...), sana nag U-Haul na nga lang ako.

I never regretted it.

1) BAGO. Bago yung CPU, bago yung keyboard (yata, pero at least hindi makunat), bagong reformat, and my favorite of all, BAGONG LAGAY NG COLORED INK!!! (I've been mourning over that since forever.) Tapos ang laki pa ng video card, kaya ang linaw and ang bilis. Super happy ako.
2) For some strange reason, nasa hard drive yung Clannad. Yung anime na kinalolokohan ko pero hindi ko mapanood na oo, kapatid ko rin ang may dala.
3) Within my reach ang lahat ng supplies!!! Pati yung first aid shelf. :))
4) My naka-install na PowerDVD at Nero!!! Woohoo!!! Takot na kasi ako mag-install ng programs dun sa computer namin kasi baka bumagal.
5) Crap, ang ganda nung theme, kasing amazing ng Windows 08. Kuya Roel rocks. (He's the guy who regularly uses the computer. Parang computer niya nga yun.)

So aside from the fact na hindi pwedeng kabitan ng internet, okay naman. Mabubuhay ako dun. In fact, I think I'm starting to love it. :D

Inspiration?

2008-09-06T05:10:00.000+08:00

I know it's been a fun and not-so-stressful week for everyone, but let me be the KJ for now and say it wasn't for me. You guys know the [suicidal] job I took upon myself. I love EIC-ing to shreds, but the stress and pressure and work is very, uh, overwhelming, to say in an understatement. :D

Everyone's been posting "happy posts" this week. Having fun, getting rest, having loads off (we keep scoring practice time from the teachers :D )--it was only this morning I got to read. I really miss blogging, pero sa pagod wala lang talaga sa mood. But everyone's "happy posts" INSPIRED ME, so I'll tell you how my week went. Not in any order, ha. Just what comes to mind. Highlights lang.

Cantata practices. We've been having additional Youth Choir practices for the Cantata for the past few weeks, but this week we really went all out and have practices everyday for the week, except Wednesday, because that's Prayer Meeting and Wednesday Service, and Sunday, because that's, well, Sunday. :D I thought the two additional hours to the end of the day was nothing. WRONG. It might have been okay if I wasn't sick from last week, but I was, and it was really hard, coming home around 8-9pm, doing assignments and editing, na minsan nakakatamad na rin kumain. And I had a bedtime to observe because I was sick, so I really had to cram all the work. No matter how much sleep I got, kinaumagahan, I still felt bugbog all over. But I am so happy to be taking this burden for the Lord, no matter how puny this is compared to what He did for me. :D

Oh, by the way.
I would like to invite everyone to the Thanksgiving Cantata on Sunday, 5pm, at the Bible Baptist Church in Guerrero. ^_^
I was planning to post a video of one of our songs for everyone to see, pero so far there was no one who didn't have their hands full on our practices to record us. I'll try again this evening, which would be our very final rehearsal. Oh, and my dad will be doing the narration. Cripes.

Marami rin sa aming may sakit. I pray we get better for Sunday. :D

Song In. Marami at malaki yung mga problema before, like steps, and the song, but we managed to pull off another miracle by almost finishing the song. Actually, kami na lang yung hindi tapos na class, pero we have practice later today, so I hope we finish by then. I really heart Humility ;) kahit wala na kaming ginawa kundi magsigawan and mag-inisan. :)) I have an amateur video of one of our amateur practices yesterday, pero I'll see if I can get a better one later. Dalawa na utang ko. :D

Cream Silk Hair Dare. I really didn't want to go, kasi that morning, after shampooing, my hair ended up perfectly, and actually stayed that way the rest of the day. Ayokong masira nila yung hair ko!!! :)) and besides, I don't like using anything except shampoo on my hair, because too many chemicals can destroy it, kahit conditioner lang. And you should try to not wash your hair everyday, dahil napapatay ng shampoo yung natural oils ng hair mo.

Anyway, It worked for some, didn't for most. Everyone wanted the cute pins they gave away, but the resounding feedback I got from everyone was complaint. Everyone hated the maldita Cream Silk girls. Kapag pangit ka daw, parang tsinutsupe ka na lang. Pag nagagandahan sila sa yo, aartehan ka naman daw. I suddenly wanted to do it, wala lang, gusto ko silang tarayan kung tarayan nila ako, kasi pangit ako, haha! Tapos ieexpose ko sila :)). But before I could make my mind up, they were done; it was a half-day thing. Pero I swear I will make it a point to make this an against-vanity thing on Hillstar, if I can. Kung hindi pwede, which I really doubt kung payagan dahil gusto lagi kapag ganyan may positive write-up on the paper, edi dito na lang. :)) Pero I think nasimulan na nga ni Aldwin yung pagcollect ng reactions, so I hope we can go through with it.

Nasan na nga ba yung first issue??? I really owe everyone a big apology. We've gone over the deadline. But if it's not next week, first half ng third week of September. And then all the other issues will just come up after the other. It's just first-time hassle. Pero, we're getting there, I swear.

Logs. And I mean LOGARITHMS! I'm fine with logs, pero umikot yung brain ko sa natural logarithms (ln). May trip kasi si Sir Oca na magbigay lang ng sheets basta-basta. He never discusses with us, hardly at all. Ewan ko lang sa ibang section, pero sa amin wala. Nagbibigay lang siya ng solutions. And I'm the kind of person who hates solving for no particular reason at all. Yung bang hindi mo maintindihan kung para saan, at kung bakit ganun yung pagsolve, which is why I like it when we derive equations in Physics. I don't like memorizing steps, kasi kung naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit, common sense lang, hindi na kailangan ng memorization. I have nothing against Sir Oca :D but I just wish he'd get to spend more time in class (awww?). Ayyy. Tapos may quotable quote nanaman siya:

(After solving a few ln problems and speking in pure nosebleeding lingo...)
Sir Oca: Class, it doesn't matter when we are born, or when we die. Those dates on our tombstone, of our birth and our death, they don't matter! (sabay kumpas ng kamay)
Humility class: (goggle-eyed) Ahhhh...huh???
Sir Oca: It is the time we spend it between those dates that matter. Our life, how we live it, that counts.
Humility: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Sir Oca: Ganun din sa Math. Hindi importante yung equation at answer. Ang importante, kung paano niyo nakuha--ang importante, yung SOLUTION.
Humility: Aaaaaahhhhhh...
(after a few moments of contemplating, for, like, a split second)
Humility: (bursts into applause) Wooooooo!!!!!!!!! Go Sir!!!

THAT rumor. Was that Thursday? At English, Maam Hazel told me that Maam Beng wanted to talk to me, immediately. Nagtaka rin ako. I'll cut straight to the point: may nagsabi daw kay Maam Beng na teacher na narinig daw niya nung nagwowork kami sa faculty nung Saturday, dun sa may kitchen table, na Keeshia and I think the teachers are backbiting the students and betraying their trust, and that we were planning to write an article about it on Hillstar.

OOooooookay. I almost freaked out right then and there, but it was the faculty, and it was Maam Beng, and we were in too close proximity to make any sudden movements. :)) Just kidding.

I explained the whole thing to Maam Beng, and she was super fine with it. Peace na kami, klaro na.

So here was all that happened last Saturday: Keesh and I were revising articles on the kitchen table. Lumipat kami ng computer table dahil nagtype ako ng article line-up, and Keesh needed to talk to me while revising on her own. We were talking while working, tapos napatanong ako sa teacher sa tabi ko kung bakit at paano na ang daming nalalamang chika ng teachers about students, like yung mga boypren-girlpren thing, na ni kaming mga estudyante hindi namin alam. YUN LANG. Keesh and I never used the words backbiting, betraying students' trust, or making an article against teachers, never even had the idea. It was outrageous. For one thing, hindi tugma yung basic info. Nung nasabi namin yun, nasa computer table nga kami, hindi sa kitchen table. Hindi kami na-over hear: nagtanong talaga kami, pero it was in such a friendly way, tipong i-share niyo naman kung saan kayo nakuha ng chika. And what arrived Maam Beng's ears was totally a TWISTED MANIPULATION of anything we ever said. Sinabi pa nga ni Maam Beng na hindi niya rin alam kung bakit sa kanya nasabi nung person yun, pero bakit ba naman sasabihin kay Maam Beng kung ayaw kami mapahamak??? Good thing on good terms na kami ni Maam Beng--I always used to have the feeling na may kulo siya sa kin, but the feeling got better around beginning of 2nd quarter. I know she believed me and gave me the benefit of the doubt, and completely took my word on it, because she's the transparent kind of person, and I could have said that even without her telling me she was, and she would never hold back on expressing disbelieveing me if she did. Thank God that was ironed out.

...And if I go on more, makakatulog na kayo. Thanks to the people who inspired me to blog this morning, just by posting on their blogs this past week. :D It was a great stressbuster, and I feel like myself again.

P.S. Hindi yan boypren-boypren. :))

2008-09-03T15:12:00.000+08:00

Labas-masok ako sa Multiply, tumitingin ng posts, nagbubukas ng pang-New Blog Entry, pero wala naman akong nasusulat. I've been going like this for days. I've thought up of countless titles, such as Logs and Blogs (I meant logarithms) and Inertia for the Inertia-less person (about a Physics class on application of inertia, it was fun ;] and the inertia-less person is none but yours truly); I've come across heaps of blog-worthy events and ideas. Sometimes I've jotted them down on some scrap of paper that I never remember again. Na-miss ko magblog--na-miss ko posts niyo, na-miss ko magpost. But for some reason, some sort of blackhole kept sucking the life out of me. Hindi lang sa blogging. Sa real life din.

I don't know how I can't properly rejoice over the fact that my Math grades are fine so far this quarter (hindi great, pero not as devastating as they used to be), I'm happy to be growing in my relationship with God, kahit dapa rin ako nang dapa. Barkada is improving. Okay naman sa bahay, like always :)) Even the way my teachers treat me is improving, and yes, I include the scaries and freakies. Halos araw-araw at halos buong araw, free time. I thank God in my prayers, pero I hate myself for not really being wholehearted about it. Never had I been so pessimistic, to be so bothered that all I could see were the bad things. That's really not right. Not right at all.

I can't believe just one thing can mess me up so badly.

Pray for me, guys. I'll need it.

At kung medyo (o SOBRANG) vague, sorry ha. Bad trip kasi, kailangang ilabas, pero ayokong sabihin kung ano. Basta, just pray for me nga, and if you see me anytime, at church or at school or wherever, please gimme a hug or make me smile. :D

P.S. Hindi yan boypren-boypren. :))

A survey from Rod on Friendster. ;)

2008-08-28T13:38:00.000+08:00

Do you like the person you are becoming?
-- Yes. :D

Are you perfect?
-- Absolutely not. I love it that way.

Does it annoy you to see trashy girls get all the guys?
-- No, but it makes me sick just to see trashy girls. I don't know how someone can have such low self-worth.

What song is stuck in your head?
-- Wala naman.

Did anybody ever call you beautiful?
-- Yes. :D Sinungaling, noh? :))

Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
-- Oh my gosh I can't believe na may taong sumulpot sa mind ko! Bakit SIYA???

A person that you miss?
-- Marami sila.

Wanna have kids before you’re 30?
-- Not really. Bahala na si Lord. Pero mas madali siguro kung ganun. Mas madali magpapayat, haha!

Do you look more like your mom or dad?
-- A fair half between both, though people mistake me for more of looking like my dad cause of the eyes.

Last item you bought yourself?
-- Yakisoba. It almost made me puke.

Name something you have to do tomorrow?
-- Try to go to school.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoo?
-- Ew, no.

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
-- Mostly on my side.

Are your eyes the same color as your moms or dad?
-- I think so.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
-- :D Yeah.

Are you self-conscious?
-- Not really. But to some human point, yes.

How do you vent anger?
-- Pray.

What is the worst feeling ever?
-- Guilt.

What did you do today?
-- Took the day off from school to recover.

What do you smell like?
-- Soap and candies. :)) Nope, not the sticky smell.

Where did you get the underwear you are wearing right now?
-- Uh, sa department store???

What are you looking forward to in the next month?
-- Good golly, that's 2 days away. First issue's release, Palanca results on the 1st and Thanksgiving Cantata on the 9th. Oh, and my parents' anniversary on the 12th. :D

Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
-- I'll try. :D

Do you think too much or too little?
-- Too much. And like Rod, too late.

Nag-absent. :D

2008-08-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

08:39 AM--jotted this down on the inetermediate pad, on my sick bed. :))

I was awake since I should have been for school. I had a horrible night feeling nauseous nd bronchial. I woke up minus the nausea but plus a fever, so my mom suggested I take the day off. I'd had the feeling since last night that I might--I didn't want to, for I really swore I'd try not to have any absences on my senior year, but I really am feeling bad and I know the only way to reverse it is to take a rest, and my senses of self-preservation were all for going along with that. Not going to school must have some psychological effect on me, since the moment I found out [that I could not go to school] I felt better immediatly [and my mom said I looked fine, even thought I was still sporting a fever.]. :)) But my throat is on fire and the fever hasn't subsided, my eyes are watery and sore and standing up makes me feel woozy, so I really want to take it easy. The free tome I have for the rest of the day hs me feeling giddy and guilty, and will not be at the mental rest that I need unless I do something productive, so I'll finish my editing and strt on my book report.

I wonder what I'll miss today. Hmmm.

I'm also going to stock up on fluids, sleep and Clannad episodes. Weee! and have a whole lot of cookies, which my dad usually buys hordes of when I'm sick. Oh, and fruits. Weird, but sometimes, I actually like being sick.

4:49 PM

I've had my beauty rest! And just finished an article. I can't believe I let my job torture me this way. Kulang-kulang talaga yung mga article nila. Kakatapos din lang magpa-reformat.

I feel like the computer. I feel reformatted! Ang sarap talaga mag-absent, to have a whole day worrying about nothing but getting your meds on time and getting up to pee. :)) I'm doing my editing, but I don't feel harassed much, despite Maam Frannie's almost-impossible deadline.

Ang cuuuuuuute ng Clannad. It's a new anime--well at least new to me. Matagal na rin akong hindi nagka-interes sa anime, kaya nung nagustuhan ko parang Wow. My brother introduced me to it. It's really cute, and I can't believe it when he said that mostly guys watch it. It's not even hentai. I dont know how to share the story in a way that will give it justice. IT IS JUST SO CUTE!!! :)) Recommended. ;)

SURVEY, guys. Please and thank you.

2008-08-25T07:35:00.000+08:00

Think they look 16???

Your comments on the age controversy against China's gymnastics team.

Your ramblings will be greatly appreciated. :D

Draining 42 minutes.

2008-08-22T02:41:00.000+08:00

I'm uploading Buwan ng Wika pics, and the uploader said 42 minutes.

Stuff have obviously happened since my last blog post.

1) Grabe. Akala ko talaga hindi na ako makakahonor. Way, waaaaaaay down ang Math ko. Barely scraped by with an 80. Thank God, THANK GOD. :D

2) Red alert ngayon ang Davao because of the MILF, so we weren't given permission to go on the Kadayawan coverage. :( However, now we're going on our own risk, pero syempre with parent/guardian permission ONLY. Eto naman sina Aldwin, nagfake pa ng ID. :)) Ang galing dumuktor. Eh kung yun na lang kaya trabaho niya??? But I'm totally thankful for their efforts.

3) Buwan ng Wika. Oh my gosh, seriously. I almost found it heart-rending. Everyone else thought it boring. It really saddens me that no one really cares. :( Like I said on the class freedom wall, there are too many things that make me proud to be a Filipino, but what doesn't are the people who aren't proud to be Filipinos. Pistambayan? Burned me. I have those yucky slipper marks on my feet again, you know, where you went dark except for the light outline of the slipper strap :)) parang nag-Kadayawan coverage na rin ako. Pero kasi, mas madali dumulas-dulas sa grass trying to chase moments to photograph kapag naka-slippers. :D (Those are the pictures that I'm uploading right now. ;) Poster Making? 2nd na. Pero ang resolution namin ni Tifany: basta whatever happens, alam naming first kami kay God ;)

4) Spectacular Cantata practice last night!!! I am so in love with our songs. Our youth group is planning a Cantata for Thanksgiving. My dad's narrating and testifying (goodness. Ma-eexpose ako!!!). Ang dami nang may utang na cheesburger. :))

5) Baliktad yung school seal sa Hillstar shirt. Crapoo. I'm having big scary man go bad cop on the ADvantage people.

6) May pinagtsismisan yung mga magulang ko at adviser ko na wala talagang may gustong magsabi sa kin. All I know is that nakaabot yung usapan sa upbringing namin coversationally, mga paRang-paRang niyo dyan--ang layo na, WHOA. Why is it that PTFs always lead to gossip?

7) My dad has this thing with songs. He's not very good at memorizing the words (actually, sometimes even the tune). So he just ho-hums the lyrics, or invents his own, which are usually nonsense and have very bad grammar. :))

When we used to have voice lessons for the choir, we had this vocal excercise with scaling that goes "Swans in the laAaAaAaAaAaAke..." And my father had one of his spells and did this: "Slap in the faAaAaAaAaAaAce..." Grabeng tawa ko. Umiinom pa naman ako. Muntik ko nang ma-spray out yung iniinom ko.

Enjoy your long weekend vacation, guys. :D

Timing, Destiny and Haruki Murakami on the 100% Perfect Girl.

2008-08-19T18:02:00.000+08:00

Timing. Got to Believe was playing, and then I remembered there was this story I wanted to include in Hillstar's Lit page. It's a short story that appears in The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami, easily dubbed one of the greatest writers of our time. It is the sweetest ever!!! With the mix, the story and the song, I suddenly fell into love story-destiny mood. Buti na lang patapos na ko magbrainstorm for Hillstar.

Here's the first part. Hintayin niyo yung second part sa Hillstar, o magpakahirap kayo maghanap sa net. ;) You'll fall in love, I just know it. At wag kayong mag-alala, yung kailangang i-edit, natanggal ko na for the Hillstar appearance.

Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning

One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.

Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.

Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.

But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird.

"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone.

"Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?"

"Not really."

"Your favorite type, then?"

"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."

"Strange."

"Yeah. Strange."

"So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"

"Nah. Just passed her on the street."

She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning.

Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.

After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.

Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.

How can I approach her? What should I say?

"Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?"

Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman.

"Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?"

No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that?

Maybe the simple truth would do. "Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me."

No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.

We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had.

I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd.

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.

Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.

...

...BWAHAHA. Magbasa talaga kayo ng Hillstar. :)) But I'll post the rest of the story after the release para sa mga hindi taga-DCHS. :D

Ciao! Good night! ;)

Kadayawan Time :D

2008-08-16T19:37:00.000+08:00

Hands down, the best place to go in the middle of August is to Davao. Simply, Kadayawan Festival. In fact, it should be planned ahead and looked forward to.

Tomorrow will mark the official start of the Kadayawan festival. To find out more about the celebration and even updates on the events, schedules and the routes for parades, HERE is the official Kadayawan committee's website. :D

I am not a pure-bred Davaoeña, and therefore have no right to take pride in this as much as I do, but dang, Davao knows how to throw a festival! I've been in on the celebration first-hand, and it truly is a fascinating experience.

I wonder if I can charge Duterte for the ad?

Hooboy. Can't wait for the coverage. Rest assured you'll get as much on that from this blog as I possibly could cram into it. :D

You should know by now that you can never shut me up.

2008-08-16T18:46:00.000+08:00

I've been hearing a lot of grief lately from people how I flood everyone's Multiply inbox, and how long my posts can get. Well, maybe not for the flooding thing, depending on your group of contacts, but I sure get a lot of rants and occassional raves (thank you dears) about it.

One thing you should know about me is that I might zipper my mouth and lock it and throw away the key or go on blog hiatus forever, but I can never, EVER shut up.

Here are my sentiments. It can take pretty long.

Aeons ago, back in third year, I said in a post about the world and their almost stereotyped complaints against talkative people. My stand was it's because they have a lot to say, therefore, they have a lot on their minds. Many people agreed.

I roll over on myself.

Many people just talk crap just as well as many people talk sense. It takes all kinds, I guess.

But here is my point now guys: LISTEN.

It doesn't matter if you'd heard the story 48 times over. It doesn't matter if you don't really care. When someone else talks, YOU don't matter. Every person is worth listening to, and no one has the right to shut anyone up, except God.

My parents raised me to never dominate a conversation. Always direct attention away from myself, push it towards the person you talk to, even if the person takes advantage and prattles on like forever about himself. Very good advice. I learn to become selfless in the small things they teach me.

I was raised this way: SPEAK THE TRUTH. SPEAK HUMBLY. SPEAK NICE AND EASY.

I have not mastered at all the third, especially in my native language. I always have the tendency to speak too loud, or too raw, as follows Filipino customary tongue. I do better in English, and probably, if I knew what I was saying, Chinese as well. But I have no finesse in Tagalog, and the dialects, even, except for Bicol, which I am now horrible in because I mix it up with Bisaya.

Tagalog and Bisaya are most comfortable said rough and hard. Batangueno is sweeter and softer, but the twang may turn some people off. I love speaking in all, yep, even Bisaya, but only around people who speak it, kahit palpak minsan ang grammar ko. Tagalog is my most comfortable and usual, and Batangueno is for when I want to speak fluent and free Tagalog especially when emotions which would usually by negative run high, because although it is still Tagalog, it has deeper and wider terms that are not commonly found in Filipino, but among the outskirts of the countryside. And when I have fun with my mom with it.

English is a sort of forte. Its wide range suits me very well, like I would have been born for it if not for Tagalog. I am not very good with Bicol anymore, but I can still understand it well. And then there is the inevitable (at least, on my mom's side of the family) G-words, which they used to use for conversations they didn't want us children to hear, but is now useless since we've figured out how it works.

See? My thoughts keep going on and on. Which is why I tell you I can never shut up, no, never, really.

And even when I seem to shut up, you have no idea, that's when the flood of thoughts too innumerable and complex and tangled up and follow the other, train after train.

My take on Koko Crunch and kids. And oh yeah, Sir Oca humor.

2008-08-16T04:40:00.000+08:00

I don't get why there are people who hate kids. Have they never been kids? Did they just suddenly pop up out of a bud and was an adult?

I mean, how can they lie to themselves? Why wouldn't anyone want to run free and laugh loud like kids? People today are so morbid.

As a kid, I was different from most in finding out about the world. I loved to play and laugh, too, but when I came across something, I wasn't going to yell out WHY??? like most kids. It surprised me to see on TV, and later on around me, that kids usually acted that way when I didn't. I always thought through stuff, replayed them in my head, thought of alternatives, ask myself why instead of my mom or my dad. I think it was because I grew up the youngest in my family and they always knew about things that I didn't yet, so I tried to figure out and find out stuff on my own.

Wow, offtopic yun.

The reason why I consider teaching a career option (crap, mababasa to ng mga teacher ko, and I bet I'll get weird smiles and funny raised eyebrows) is because of kids. I used to teach literacy for GSP and I joined a ministry in church, Good News classes, that goes to depressed areas to give Bible stories and church invitations every Saturday. Then there's DVBS every year. The impact one leaves on his or her students is immensely satisfying. Anong klase ba namang trabaho ang feeling mo kinaladkad ka kalsada sa pagod pero hindi mo magawang hindi ngumiti? I love meeting my students outside of class. They always have a big smile for me, or come running to greet me. :D But the best part is when they tell you what your efforts and being a part of their lives mean to them. And isn't it important to make sure to raise kids well for the next generation?

Oh man. I sound like my teachers.

By the way, thank you to all my teachers, since Kinder, and up till now. I am so sorry I am such a pain in the ass. :)) Thank you for putting up with me, and pretending I didn't make your life harder. Thank you for patting me on the back and telling me what a great job I've done, when I know you saw my work was lame in real standards and the colors don't even correspond (I have a weird experience from way back last DVBS. I can't believe that in all my life, I'd see a mother pig with rainbow-colored piglets.). If ever I become a fulltime teacher, and even part time, I promise to do the same.

And ooooh. I had Koko Crunch for breakfast. Tastes like sunny mornings and grassy-smelling wind in Laguna, out where the hum of mornings would be the swish of the horde of mothers armed with their walis ting-ting, numerous chicken crows (I really don't understand where the chicken sounds come from. It was majorly an urbanized subdivision.), and krriiiiing and call of Mr Taho, and the smell of burning coconut husks (kulang ang probinsya feel for me kung walang amoy nyan) and fresh mornings.

My, my. I never realized I lived so ideally poetically.

Actually, speaking of kids, this was one of my favorite foods as a kid, and up till now.

Ang drama ko naman. Ang tagal ko na kasing hindi nakakakain ng Koko Crunch eh.

At eto ang hinahanap mo sa blog post na to kung taga-DCHS ka:

Sir Oca was explaining how to inverse functions. He finds out that we don't exactly know what functions are, except, of course, for Dio. Eh kasi ba naman, nung first lesson about functions, binaha niya kami ng activity sheets na ginamitan na lang namin ng common sense sa pagsagot. Pero at least hindi kami feeling bobo sa subject niya. Extremely fascinated lang kapag nageexplain siya.

Anyway. Sorry, got carried away. He was writing one equation after another, asking us which were functions, Dio only whispering the answers, so tameme talaga kami.

Sir Oca: (writes then points to equation) Is this a function? (writes and points to another) Is this a function? (Before he moves to a cleaner board) CLASS! Are we functioning???

Nawala yung nosebleed silence. Tawa kami. Da best talaga itong si Sir Oca. :))

So that's what's happening to the long-awaited Hillstar issue.

2008-08-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

Shhh. Woke up at 3 to make my Hillstar assignments. I was so tired last night, as usual.

So back-to-earth experience. I remember sweating articles back in earlier years. :))

Hillstar is soon upcoming, I promise. Kung hindi matatagalan ang printing it will surely be out by the end of the month. We’ve really tried to come up with a great issue. Some staffers and writers wanted to stick to old tradition, but we all wanted to do the best work we can. Some are whiny, I had to put up with that. The article line-up is almost perfect. I hope the layout artists will be able to make the biggest difference, hope they get what I was going for. I’ll be layouting with them next week, anyway. :p

Whateeeeeeeev. Right now, I’m actually not connected to the net. I’m just drafting. Crap, I miss Multiply. :p

----> Just finished my articles. :D I'm on early morning high. Connected na rin ako sa net.

As far as I can tell, walang nangyari sa Hillstar last year dahil material pa rin ni Ate Bea and even ni Aldwin yung ginamit namin for the one issue na lumabas nung school year na yun. Hindi ako naninira; I'm just saying that I know everyone's missed Hillstar for so long. I know I have.

We tried to make it better. After a whole year of Hillstar going AWOL and MIA, I hope this will be a fresher sight. Kumbaga, yung effort na binuhos namin dito, bawi na sa isang buong taong absence. Sana (peace!). The feature articles are updated and in demand, as far as I've surveyed. The news articles are made sure to be packed and substantial. We've made sure that every page is worth reading, hindi tulad nung noon na ang tinitingnan lang na pages kung saan yung pangalan nila. And all the info will be available on the Multiply Hillstar site, and, as soon as they can, the alumni site.

KAYA BASAHIN NIYO ANG HILLSTAR. SOBRANG BLOOD, SWEAT AND TEARS YAN. KAPAG MAY NAKITA AKONG HILLSTAR NA BINASURA, ISUSUNOD KO KAYO. :))

At hindi lang dahil effort namin, kundi dahil kayo yan. Reflection lang yan ng DCHS: kung anong mga pinaggagawa niyo at kung anong mga sinabi niyo.

After this, we'll be working on the Filipino-Kadayawan issue.

To God be the glory!!! :D He has sustained us through everything.

And to Aldwin, if you read this, check out my last comment on your last blogpost.

By the way, students and teachers, you may contribute articles, poems and columns. Super open kami. And sometimes I nab articles from your blogs, I swear I do, and I already have. Pero syempre may permission. Diba Van??? Pero Hillstar din naman si Vanessa kaya hindi siguro magcount. :p But I tell you I am on the lookout for articles on the way. Assignment yun sa editors: to keep an eye out.

Aaaahhh!!!!!!!!! Past 5 na pala!!! Gotta get ready. See you in school. ;)

Senioritis and Blogaholic Tales. :p

2008-08-12T17:49:00.000+08:00

No, palusot. Wala talaga akong noble purpose for this blogpost. Sense of release lang.

Blogaholic:
I glanced at the computer's clock. 9:32PM. I wondered whether I should eat my words and stay up anyway, or get a good night's sleep, something I haven't gotten for too long.

But we now all see na wala talaga akong awa sa antok at pagod kong katawan. Ipagpapalit ko ang bawi sa tulog para magblog.

I really love hearing from everyone. I think my thoughts like it better when they're not alone.

I spend far too much time on this site. *BOW*

Senioritis:

Today: first day EVER this school year that I woke up and didn't want to go to school. Personal achievement: it usually took me just a week to want to just sleep in and miss whatever at school. I even felt like throwing up, so I didn't take breakfast.

I whined all throughout Math, but I stuck through. Was the first to do the book report: no one listened, anyway.

And here it is again, that feeling that I totally wanna go to college, but absolutely don't wanna leave high school. Hindi ko maimagine kung paano na lang ako iiyak sa graduation--complete pa siguro with sinok-sinok and everything.

And I really wouldn't want to leave Davao. When I think about it, the thought resounds over and over and gives me terrible heart pangs. Pero iba talaga ang quality of education sa Manila. Pero God's will talaga.

Kung hindi ako makapasa sa UP, hindi ko alam kung saan ako. Wala akong ibang school na maisip mag-apply, except Wesleyan which is like WHOA. Asa.

Hindi ko malaman kung aling course talaga: Med, Journalism, and something else I will not admit...many people are saying Journ, pero alam kong pwede naman akong magsulat kahit hindi makakuha ng degree, at masyado akong maraming gustong gawin sa buhay para masyadong magfocus dun. And the Med and the something else tugs very hard, pero hindi ko rin maintindihan bakit.

I wonder why I stick with people who just don't care. I am a magnet for apathetic people. Opposites attract talaga. I also hate selfish, vain people. I cannot stand them. Grabe na ako mag-psychoanalyze ng mga tao ngayon.

I don't understand why the staffers are so hopelessly disoriented. Nababaliw na ko sa kanila.

OFFTOPIC: Ang sama talaga nung pagpapa-color change ni Michael Jackson. Aside from the fact na pangit, super pangit, ng outcome, napaka-immoral. Pati yung pagpapaprepare niya ng pangfreeze sa katawan niya pagkamatay niya para marevive siya ng mga alien pagkatapos ng second ice age. Ayun, napadaan si Papa sa myx, nakita ko lang.

And I twisted my ankle and it hurts like crazy. Iika-ika ako, at nababagot ako na amg bagal ko bumaba ng stairs.. (Iika-ika is semi-deep Tagalog for limping.)

At saan naman ako makakahanap ng partner bukas na papayag magdalawang sayaw, kung last resort niya na ko??? HA???!!!???

*BOW*

Made Memories.

2008-08-11T17:18:00.000+08:00

So today I was thinking about how this day would rank among my bank of memories. Actually, in general, I was thinking about all my memories.

Ohohoho. Exam result day. Bagsak Math. I dunno about Econ, but everything else is pretty fine. No comment na. Pagod na ko kaka-stress about that.

Eval for teachers: rants and raves for those who deserve which.

Comings and goings--one to last, one for a while. Over a month kami mawawalan ng Physics teacher-slash-adviser. Sir, akala ko ba sabi mo ayaw mong may ma-miss kami sa high school life namin??? Anong tawag mo sa isang buwan palitan yung teacher namin??? Pero walang reklamo kay Maam Jovy. I used to find her much too intimidating, but this day changed the way I saw her. Pero namaaaaaaaan. AND anoooouncement!!! Welcome Aves!!! Grabe, 37 na kami. Lumaki ang familliiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!

Meeting Hillstar. Akala ko pwede ko na sila pakawalan. Hindi. Kaliwa't kanan yung mga tumatawag ng Kit! KIIIIIIIIT!!! Tapos afterwards yung EIC, naging Janitor-in-Chief. Woooo!!! Labbit!!! Sorry kung hindi ko nawalisan.

Has anyone noticed that the 4th section A classroom is like a conference room-slash-pigsty-slash-giant slambook-slash-shooting venue??? Parang doon lahat nangyayari: doon magmeeting, doon napupunta yung nacocollect na mga kahit ano ng mga club, warehouse ng mga project...and I looooove it. :D

And speaking of memories, I looked back and was surprised to find out how many amazing memories I've made, kahit yung sa DCHS pa lang. Performances, jokes, friendships, exams. Kahit walang picture, kahit hindi narecord, wala mang certificate o medal o kung ano, somehow knowing it was part of what you can count up to your story makes you feel all so giddy and satisfied.

You drive me nuts, you crack me up, you drive me to tears, you make me smile without knowing it. I love you guys. Whatever part of these memories you belong to, it means so much to me.

Boy, they weren't kidding when they said high school would be one of the most fun times of my life. It isn't about always laughing around and winning everything and getting what you want. It's about coming out to be a better, surer person because you are able to turn whatever, good or bad, into something beautiful. Priceless. And of course, memorable. :D

Rockstars. :))

2008-08-09T03:13:00.000+08:00

~~We like to call ourselves rockstars.~~ Haha, scratch that; WE ARE nga pala. We laugh about everything, we group off all the time, we've been there for each other so many times. We rat on about school sluts and unfair teachers, sometimes we tend to gossip. We can fight, scream, laugh and jam all day long. We've never really understood each other. And though we never turned into the sappy kind of group despite my being in it, and though I have never heard any of us refer this word to ourselves, FRIENDSHIP plays a big role.

You might hear us say, "hoy mga 48!!!" We call ourselves, unofficially, 48-48-48. There came a time when Melaika's favorite number was 48--or at least, favorite number to say. Like, "grabe, 48 years na ko naghihintay dito!!!". We all kind of adapted it. Then one time, we got around talking about body statistics. "100-200-100!!!" "Si Gwen, 1-1-1???" "OMG!!! 48-48-48!!!" And it stuck. Now we scream when we see the number 48. We were particularly sour none of us got the 48 jersey on the juniors' shirt last year--Gwen and I got close to nabbing the 48 jersey, being F and J and the 48th person in our batch being Cherry Lafuente, but not quite there.

We have a ton of inside jokes. The best part would be all the codenames. We have codenames for most, if not every single one, of our "love interests"; sometimes, for hated or adored teachers; for sluts and enemies; for people who did something funny, for the sake of nicknames. We made the most last year, and we've been trying to write it down, but we never seem to run out of them.

We also have our assigned animals and nicknames. Gwen and I used to be frog and cat way back in second year, but everyone spoiled the Froggy-Kitty nickname by joining in. Not long after, I became turtle for my famed slowpoke-ness, and nicked "Peegee" from "pagong"; Melaika became a pig, because she was always the heaviest on the scale, so therefore "Oinkii"; Madz just got bangs then, so she became "Bangsie", and the closest animal that has anything resembling bangs would be a chicken (the red thing: it's called palong in Tagalog, but what's it called in English again???); Gwen became "Frankie" because sometimes her skeletor figure and huge eyes give you the impression of a female mummy, therefore Frankenstein, but she remains to be a frog in animal terms. Melaika and I call each other TABA, because she's the heaviest and I'm the one with, for my weight, the bigger hipline when we were measuring up for the Spanish costumes in 3rd year. So there.

May ihahaba pa itong post na to, but Photo Seminar starts in an hour and 40 minutes, and I have to go get ready early just in case my dad won't be able to take me to school. ;)

08-08-08

2008-08-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

Well, the truth is that the date is just really is too cool to pass up. :D Apparently, the SSC and SC who held its BLT today, as well as China for the long-awaited Beijing Olympics, think the same thing.

I just finished Harry Potter 6. I hate Snape. I can't believe, that after being such a fan, it took me more than 3 years to read this installment from its release, from an ebook no less. And now I can't wait to get the 7 ebook--I have this trusty site, but since it's not the ebook of the week and its past its prime, they took it off the site contents, and I still have to wait for the reply to the request. Do you have a copy? Can I have my hands on it by tomorrow? Pleeeaaaaaase?

So ngayon lang ulit ako nakapanood ng konting TV. Grabe, ang tagal ko nang detached sa world. Ngayon ko lang nakita yung Camp Rock commercials. Wanna watch, and don't start on me, because I am a chick through and through who watches chick flicks. And I cry at them, too.

My brother's gonna play. If I think of anything else, I'll be back. ^_^

Basta, eto yung blogpost about UPCAT. :))

2008-08-04T16:25:00.001+08:00

[Pictures to come later]

"How was your trip to the the boondocks?" asked Sir Desi this morning, after exams, referring to the weekend's UPCAT. Hindi ako nakasagot ng maayos. Teka, sumagot nga ba ko?

Upfront and straightforward, I have to say UPCAT was the most traumatic experience I've had so far.

The day before the exam:

I broke the most important rule of all: I crammed.

Fat lot of good it did me, too. I'm not being sarcastic. The cramming, and the guilt of cramming, was worth it. Dere-derecho, from waking up till sleeping, from Math Sheet # 15 to Physics Sheet # 17, natapos ko yun. *BOW* And it didn't block up my brain. In fact, it prepared it, got it used to the tension and the heat of the pressure. I therefore conclude that cramming as a disadvantage is not applicable to all. Yan ang gagawin kong pang-thesis, WALANG AAGAW!

Shopping with my dad was the best. From 5pm-7pm, nag-UPCAT shopping kami ni Papa.
Sa NBS,
-3 Stabilo Exam Grade pencils na hindi ko nagamit dahil gusto nila ng Mongol # 2 pencils (why didn't I pay attention?),
-Stabilo Exam Grade eraser,
-MAPED sharpener.

Sa grocery naman...
-1 bag of Hershey's Chocolate Kisses,
-1 canister of chewing gum,
-1 bag of Oreos,
-1 bag of Cheezy chips,
-1 bottle of Gatorade.

Sobrang nakonsensya ako. Ang laki nang nagastos ni Papa sa mga luho ng pagiging freak ko.

At home, we also prepared a sandwich and a bottle of water. Hindi exaj. Takot talaga kasi akong maubusan ng oras, antukin, gutumin, uhawin, at ma-mind block. I'm happy I took all those precautions.

In between sheets, when I woke up and before I went to sleep, I peppered my time with prayers and Bible reading. When my throat started to swell up from the pressure, when I started to feel crappy, when I felt like I couldn't go on, it kept me. :D

THE DAY. Har. Har.

I woke up, and five threatening letters appeared before me even before I could open my eyes. Well, you know. UPCAT. I couldn't believe I was making such a big deal out of it, but hey, it was a make-or-break exam, and it was the school I've always wanted to get into, and all.

Ang usapan namin: attend kami ng Sunday School, tapos kain sa Tugbok, tapos derecho na UP. After the exam, derecho ulit balik sa church.

People were suprised to see me at church; akala nila hindi na ako mag-aattend. I felt butterflies the size of helicopters and everything, but as soon as Sunday School started I felt at ease. I couldn't forget what I was going to do, but in the midst of the fiery visions of Revelations, it didn't seem to matter. Pero balik din kaagad yung excitement after. Before I went, people wished me well. I knew most of them were against even just applying to UP, because it was like opening myself to temptations and worldliness. I knew they all knew--I knew there were people who were really concerned, and others who just liked to gossip about it. It was a heavy burden to know I might not have the blessing of my church with me. But I knew I opened up to this because I was looking for God's call. We left before the Worship Service started. I knew I studied, and I knew I prayed. I couldn't ask for anything other I could have done it.

When we got to Tugbok, where else would we take our lunch but at one of the HITO! outlets? I ~~was~~ am a huge fan. I ate 2. :))

I thought we would still have lots of time. We were bound to arrive around a quarter to 12, 45 minutes before I was due. I thought I would still be able to chat with the morning examinees, and be able to wish everyone God Bless before we all went in. When we got there, quarter it still was, alright, but everyone was already in line. I chatted a little with Dianne, waved to Jose, Mimi, Monica, Bevs, Stacey, and some people I knew from the review.

Ang cute naman. Pakalat-kalat lang yung mga pinagkainan ng Durian. Nasa stairs, nasa sahig, nasa bibig. :)) Sa Davao lang yan, dude.

Ayos yung proctor namin. Average woman, cropped hair, neon pink polo shirt, BIG attitude. Hanep, iba talaga pag UP. She made my quote of the day. And she'll be part of this memory as long as it is: The woman who scared me to the size of a Higgs-Bozon particle.

"When you enter those glass doors, there's no turning back."

Manakot ba??? I immediately imagined we were on a conveyor belt to be manufactured into mindless dolls or something. :)) Grabe, for one woman, dalang-dala niya yung role niya. Parang siya kasi yung pinaka-head ng mga proctor. And tindi ng respeto ng mga tao sa kanya, pero sobrang bait niya sa mga colleagues niya. I wondered if she might be my teacher if ever sa UP Min ako, and if I would come out to be as strong a personality as she is. They split us up, kahit nagkukumpul-kumpol yung mga magkakakilala; they found a way to trick us into separating. Mautak talaga.

When I got into one of the AVRs that was our testing room, unang pumasok sa isip ko "magiging classroom ko kaya 'to???" The tension was thick in the air. Aside from not the turning back thing, we weren't allowed to talk after entering the glass doors. Grabe ngang joke afterward sa pamilya nung nadiscover namin na apat na oras akong hindi nagsalita. :))

The orientations took forever. It was a horrible anti-climax. I felt like sinking, burrowing into the earth. Some part of me, at peace. Pero meron talagang side na talagang palagas nang palagas yung consciousness ko.

The exams were as follows:
Language Proficiency
Science
Math
Reading Comprehension

Everything went smoothly. I was so thankful for my review classes and the three years of education I've had in high school. But I started breaking out in hives come middle of Math.

Pinaghalong mind block at pure "HUH?!?". May part na sunud-sunod na nagskip muna ako. Mangiyak-ngiyak na talaga ako. I stuffed my chewing gum and and chocolate into my mouth: sugar revs up your mind, chewing gives your thinking momentum. I squirmed in my seat. I huffed out prayers in staggered breaths. I insecurely looked up at the time remaining markers in front, kahit malayo pa at hindi pa nga sila nagco-countdown. When I went back to some questions I missed, I got further, pero meron talagang kahit naka-ilang solve ako, dead end talaga yung mga solution ko. At the 2-minute mark, I surrendered and took the one-letter tip for Math from the review (can't say which letter. Contract and everything.). Then I left that behind for Reading Comprehension, which thankfully went as smoothly as the two first subtests.

Sa totoo lang, except nga for those few minutes in Math na talagang tumagaktak pawis ko sa kaba, I enjoyed that exam. And cute nung questions, promise. I loved the ensaymada poem. I finished at exactly 5:12pm, 6 minutes to the end of the exam and to freedom.

Walking out of the building into the atrium, everyone shifted into blank mode, as if we really were manufactured into mindless dolls. Chatter filled the atrium, and we knew we were going to join them soon. But the walk from the room and out those glass doors again was almost apocalyptic.

Malay ko kung anong pinag-muni-minuhan nila, pero ako, ito: There it was. There it all was. 3 months of review and preparation. All the hassle, stress, pressure. All the uncertainties and burdens it loaded into me, everything. It all summed itself up in 4 hours, in one green answer sheet, in five letters. It was done. Now we agonize for the next 6 months. Yipee.

At that thought, I went back to normal. I found my batchmates. Grabeng kantiyawan. Akala mo sinabihan na kaming hindi kami pumasa. We were so happy, complete with the shining eyes and I-don't-care-how-loud laughter. It was over, for Pete's sake. May exam man bukas na hindi namin napag-aralan, may exam man kaming kakatapos lang na baka wala namang katumbas na katuturan sa buhay namin sa kabila ng lahat ng effort na binuhos namin, in those moments, worn-out, frustrated and finally free, grabe--ANG DALDAL TALAGA NAMIN. :))

"Ang yayabang pa natin, "saan kang campus nag-apply?" "Diliman, pare, DILIMAN!!!" Ha! Eh kung makapasa pa tayo dito sa Mindanao, himala na!!!"

"Yung Maaaaath!!! Nosebleed!!!"

When my dad asked Jose how he found the exam:
"Madali lang po, sir. MADALING TULUGAN."

I initiated the picture-taking. Sa totoo lang, wala kami lahat sa mood for photo ops (HUWAAAAAT??? First time!). Pero pinagbigyan nila ako lahat: nagpapicture kami with Mr Oblation.

Speaking of which, hindi talaga pinagsasawaang topic ng kontrobersya yun.

Papa: "Tatay yan ni Fernanado Poe, Jr.!!!"
Kami ni Mama: "Huh? Namaaaaan."
(NOTE: Sino nga ba yun?)

Ako: "Um, saan tayo magpapapicture, sa harap, o pwedeng sa likod na lang?"
Jose: "SA HARAP!!! Yun nga yung point, eh!!!"

Si Kuya someone-I-forgot-SORRY!: "Kunan SIYA ng buo?"
Bevs: "Syempre po, kahit pugot na ulo namin."

Ako: "Aaahhh. Ngayon ko lang natitigan. May dahon pala yun."
Mama and Jose, different instances, same reaction: "Ano ka ba, syempre!"

:))

Got to church afterwards. On the way, chika kami ng parents ko.

(After relaying the Math tragedy and fears of failure)
Mama: "Okay lang anak. Ako kampante ako."
Ako: "Aba, buti ka pa!!!"

My parents asked me kung gusto ko nang umuwi, what with the day and the exams the following day. Pero hindi ko makaya. Naghahanap talaga ako. I was not disappointed. Sa church, I was so fulfilled by the Word. Mahaba yung outline nung message, pero hindi na ako takot kung meron mang support ang church o wala, dahil hindi naman sila ang maaasahan ko; okay lang kung pasa o hindi, kung saang college at anong course; as long as He leads, I will follow.

I went to sleep, knowing that for the rest of my life...

...HINDI NA AKO PWEDENG UMULIT NG UPCAT. Yeaaabaaaaa.

There. That was my UPCAT experience. Tell me yours? ;)

And if you don't have one, boy, you missed out on a lot. :D

Basta, eto yung blogpost about UPCAT. :))

2008-08-04T16:25:00.000+08:00

"When you enter those glass doors, there's no turning back."

The exams were as follows:
Language Proficiency
Science
Math
Reading Comprehension

:))

Got to church afterwards. On the way, chika kami ng parents ko.

(After relaying the Math tragedy and fears of failure)
Mama: "Okay lang anak. Ako kampante ako."
Ako: "Aba, buti ka pa!!!"

.

2008-08-02T06:37:00.000+08:00

After a pool of nasal blood and a million heartburns, natapos na rin ako sa Math!!! (Giling-giling, Gwen-style) Tama si Mami Cathe. UPCRAP talaga.

Science pa. No choice: cramming na talaga. :p

Pero break muna. Malapit na ko abutin na cardiac arrest kanina sa Math.

Here's my to-do for tomorrow. UPCAT takers, you may make this your own.

o Pick comfortable clothes
o Wash jacket
o clip nails
o sleep early
o PRAYPRAYPRAYPRAYPRAY.
o Get there early. 30 mins before exam at least.
o Pick seat. Windooooowww!!!
o Go to restroom before exam starts.
o Read instructions twice.
o Never submit test paper early. Review answers.

BRING:
o Bible!!!
o test permit. Goodness.
o ID
o pamaypay daw, sabi ng Inquirer. :))
o analog wristwatch
o ruler (for checking and reviewing answers, accdg to Inquirer pa rin*)
o parents. :)) For moral support. My own squad!!!

BUY:
o 1 box of Stabilo pencils*, 2 erasers and a sharpener, just in case.
o Food. Lots of sugar, high-hydration drinks like Gatorade, and carbs.
o headband and ponytails (PRANING!!!)
o Bubble gum, sandamakmak na bubble gum!!!!!!!!!!!!
o Medicol, Paracetamol

*turo yan ng loko naming teacher sa review. Edi, sinabi niya nga isang buong kahon ng pencil dalhin namin. Tawa naman kami. Tapos bigla siyang nagseryoso. "Hindi nga," sabi niya. Kasi daw para hindi na magwaste ng time kakasharpen, lalo na kung sobrang OC ka at kailangang laging 0.1 ang tulis ng lead. At kapag nawalan ng pencil yung katabi mo, edi ibenta ng 1000 pesos yung pencil, tutal, desperate times nga naman. :))

God bless, everyone!

Flash, Bam, Alakazam.

2008-08-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

I was doing a Table of Contents for my Filipino portfolio. I thought I was done for the night, no, for the wee hours of the morning. I was so tired last night I put it off and set a 4:00 alarm.

I thought I could sleep, or if not, study, but now I'm here, breaking my own promises, sneaking away in the dead of the night, no, morning, just to tell you what's on my mind.

All this hullabaloo just because I felt, that some calendar, somewhere, would be telling me it was the first of August today.

Flash! There went two months of senior year.

What had I done, and what had I not done?

:)) Certainly I've had a lot of mess-ups.

I've had many learning experiences as well, my definition for my mistakes.

And how could I not count the victories in between?

Those two months passed was so full of everything I ever expected in life it feels like it's been a year.

Bam!

The MAPEH Production is done. I think it was brilliant, and whether or not I am biased is for you to guess.

Chinese exams later. Thank God Siensi's only giving an exam for two lessons, and that my lessons are for third graders. :)) God bless to everyone on that one.

I have no idea what miracle God will send me to complete studying my review sheets in time for Sunday without cramming at least 24 hours before the actual exam, but you see, He promised, and I'm just watching out. Anyone know where I can get a tutor at, um, 4:42 am, who can cover Trigo, Physics, Chemistry and be patient rolling off vocabulary while I jump around trying not to get a nosebleed??? If he/she can learn and take UPCAT for me, all the better...Crunch time!

I also have no idea how I can study for my other exams, Monday-Wednesday. I can't believe time was positioned so torturingly.

But no. Scratch that. What more can I ask when I get to go to church exactly before and after UPCAT? :D Showers of blessings, indeed.

ALAKAZAM!!!!!

Usually, the magic part comes there. Following suit, I'll tell you what magic is whisking away in the air.

I am at complete peace.

Despite the busy, hectic schedules. Despite the impossible workloads. Despite the heavy burdens, thunking down from every side.

Greater than willpower, greater than human desire, my God continues to uplift me to highs that I never deserved. You might be confused. What part of this rant tells you He is as faithful as I claim Him to be???

It is His promises. That He had taken care of me, takes care of me, and so He will take care for me. He purifies me, sometimes completely consumes, but He exalts. How can I explain how great His love covers me? It exceeds human speech.

How can I be brought down to failure, how can anything seem depressing? He redeems.

I don't sound like myself. You might not even want to listen.

That is because I have never been more grateful, never happier, never more fulfilled in my life, than in this moment, when everything seems to be unsure and dangerous ahead. Never have I felt more loved and blessed, than now when everyone is prone to leave and everything is fallible.

Thank Gooooooooood.

Flash, Bam, Alakazam.

2008-08-01T00:58:00.000+08:00

I am at complete peace.

Vocab words, Math teacher humor, atbp.

2008-07-24T15:13:00.000+08:00

Shhh. Getting a few minutes out of studying. Don't tell. :p

I totally missed blogging. Natural na kasi sa system ko magsulat. But I'm happy. It gave me more time to study, and to talk with God, too. :D Pero syempre, ngayon lang ulit to. It's just that I had some stuff that I wouldn't dare miss out on memories when I look back on my blog. I promise, not another word until after next week, or at least the night before UPCAT. And, because someone tempted me to it. Guess mo nga kung sino ka.

Speaking of which, finally got my test permit! I'm scheduled for Sunday, 12:30. The best time for me, since I get to go to church right before leaving for UP Min. Yebaaaa.

And speaking of Math teacher humor, bentang-benta sa kin ang lahat ng jokes ni Sir Oca, kahit yung mga pinakacorny na ako na lang mag-isa natatawa. Pero, eto, meant to be a pun, pero truly words of wisdom, even if it was supposed to be a half-joke.

"Time is gold, you know.
Maya-maya, time is up."
-Sir Oca, nung Monday, about using our spare time to work on our project.

Diba, tama??? The reason why time is so precious is because it runs out. In Econ, scarce resource. :p

Kwentooooo!!! May daga sa bahay. Nung una, medyo may hiya pa siya. Ngayon, grabe, as in dinadaan-daanan niya na lang ako!!! Maliit kasi siya, hindi namin mahuli, tapos mautak. Hindi siya nauuto nung sticky paper. Last night, I was studying my vocab word list, and had just finished it, and was looking for any excuse to use any of my newly mastered words. Biglang sumulpot. I was all, "that rat is so AUDACIOUS!!!" I readily turned to the rest of my vocab list. Starting from the top, na A ang start dahil alphabetical, pinagtripan ko lahat ng words. Lahat, para sa minamahal na daga.

"We have to ABATE the number of rats in this house!"
"I ABHOR rats!!!"
"They are ABOMINATION!"
"We are the ABORIGINES of this house!!!"
...and so on. :))

Which reminds me I have to go back to my studying.

And remind me later on to post DANSON'S PICTURE CHECKING OUT MODESS AT THE GROCERY.

^.^

:'(

2008-07-20T17:43:00.000+08:00

This is really hard for me. It has been hard to decide, and it is hard to carry it out. In fact, it's really painful.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going on a blog hiatus.

Okay, so y'all know this is really hard for me. I love to write, and I love the blogosphere and the people I get to share my thoughts with. Yun, kung ano mang intindi niyo dun, basta masakit talaga na hindi magblog.

It's been on my mind for some time, but I haven't done anything about it because I obviously really don't want to. But with the UPCAT, Periodical Exams and MAPEH Prod a couple of weeks away, and the first Hillstar issue due right around then, I cannot afford to waste a single minute.

I will really REALLY miss you all badly. It's like, two weeks, which is so puny compared to the rest of my existence, and most of all you guys are people I see every day. But I will miss your rants and your raves and your updates, and of course, I will miss having people who care about mine. I will miss everything I get to learn that I can't tell by just a hi or just watching you. I will miss feeling so close to people so far away, and knowing about others and showing I care. I can't believe it: now I realize how much blogging, slash writing, has been a part of my system all this time.

But I have to stop making myself feel like I'm at a loss. I do need to do this for real, and it's not going to help if I rant on about how sad I'll be to be missing for a while.

Will miss you guys. I might allow myself to look at your posts or comments if I have the extra time, which I doubt, but I cannot and will not allow myself to take the time to post my own. Oh man, there it goes again.

But I will be fine, because my great Blogserver, the author and finisher of my faith, Jesus Christ, will be my blog correspondent for the time being. Imagine, when Christ really is your everything. ;p Hahaba nanaman ang mga date namin. :D

Bye. Will miss you. Yeah, I mean you, cause I mean everybody. :))

♥, Kit. ^_^

[SHRIEK]

2008-07-20T08:21:00.000+08:00

I'm kind of pissed off. I'm at Netopia. More later when I get home. Just wanted to fume. :p

Ehehehe.

2008-07-19T17:12:00.000+08:00

When I feel giddy, I laugh like a drunk and go "ehehehe". I don't know why.

Remember when I used to enumerate the things I blogged about, waaaaaay back in 3rd year? Here I go again. :D

Kit blogs about: (...well, nothing... :p)

# 1: From YM. Thanks Keesh. ;)

CELLPHONE laging hawak at ipinapakita..
BIBLE laging nakatago at ayaw ipakita..
CELLPHONE binibili kahit libo-libong halaga..
BIBLE ayaw bilhin kahit isang daan halaga..
CELLPHONE laging binabasa kung may message..
BIBLE hindi binabasa kaya hindi makita ang message..
CELLPHONE ayaw magasgasan..
BIBLE ok lng kahit maalikabukan..
CELLPHONE mahirap ipahiram baka masira..
BIBLE madaling ipahiram kahit mawala..
CELLPHONE nauubusan ng message..
BIBLE laging full of message..
CELLPHONE ay mahalagang gamit..
BIBLE mas mahalaga kung gagamitin..

O, ano??? Sinong natamaan??? :D

# 2: From the archives of my inbox...

Ms Gay Intros:

Gutom ako, gutom kayo, gutom tayong lahat!
HUNGARY!!!

Ola viola kaserola tinola saranggola arinola ni lola!
VENEZUELA!!!

Malay mo, malay niya, malay nating lahat!
MALAYSIA!!!

Baha dun, baha dito, baha sa buong mundo!
BAHAMAS!!!

Hindi sakin, hindi sayo, kanino siya?
KENYA!!!

One way, two way, there's no other way!
NORWAY!!!

Sing ka na, sing ka pa, ilabas ang Magic Sing!
SINGAPORE!!!

Mula sa lupaing kulang sa bigas at may sandamakmak na mandurugas!
PILIPINAS!!!

:)) Umamin ka, pati yung mga corny tinawanan mo.

# 3: Little Miss Blogger got a haircut. Now Little Miss Blogger thinks she looks so maldita in it. She's half disappointed, half ecstatic. If you're a churchmate, you get the preview tomorrow. If you're a schoolmate, gotta wait till Monday. No posting pictures till then. :p

On a Saturday morning

2008-07-19T04:43:00.000+08:00

Studying Brain Train sheets. Woke up and no one was home. Made myself peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast, my favorite. :D

I really like having the hosue to myself. I always have, ever since I was a kid. :D

NOW PLAYING: Lucky, Jason Mraz feat Colbie Caillat. It is so sweet. ^_^

:)) What's your coffee?

2008-07-17T18:02:00.000+08:00

Crap!!! I'm so happy. Hindi tuloy ako makatulog. Nag-aral na lang tuloy ako ng Brain Train sheets. Walang tigil yung replay ng memories from kanina. :D And I keep realizing so many things that I don't even have time to put into words, because something else new takes its place. NAIINTINDA=IHAN BA ANG MGA PINAGSASASABI KO NGAYON???

I therefore conclude:
There is no better coffee than knowing you are loved and blessed. :D

Nutrition Month. ^_^

2008-07-17T15:46:00.000+08:00

10 hours of Nutrition Month celebration = 393 pictures and six video clips. :)) Nagulat ako na umabot nang ganun, pero sobrang guilty din ako :))

So for now, you'll have to make do with my yammering. I hear a collective sigh from people who wanted pics.

Whooooo. I started thinking about what to type and I suddenly realized just how knocked out I am. 10 hours of running around, screaming, fixing the room, Hillstar-ing, and saying a whisper of a prayer every now and then. It feels good to work hard at something. I know that even if we didn't win any awards, we would have gone home still saying what a great day it was.

But we did, as a matter of fact, win. :D I don't remember much of them except for the Poster Making and the Home and Table setting. I am at a loss of words to simply express very very very very very happy.

I wished it would never end. But it did, yet the memories are priceless. ^_^

It all went by in a haze. Running around, assigning staffers and taking pictures for the coverage. Being covered in sweat and grime and crepe paper helping fix the classroom. Screaming at the top of my lungs because I was too happy to do anything else. My heart skipping a beat when I heard of a victory I shared. Chasing people with flour and chocolate smeared all over me. Camwhore-ing. :)) Telling people to smile. Knowing I am so blessed. It was an unreal day. I'd gladly live every single day that way, seeing and knowing the people I love and who love me, capturing the world as it smiled, receiving the most beautiful shower of blessings, spending every moment of my "lasts", serving God in the ways I loved the most. :D

It is not the certificates, nor the medal, and not even the pictures or the memories. It is the time I was given to spend to live to the fullest.

New Hillstar Multiply Site.

2008-07-16T17:38:00.000+08:00

Please add as contact the new Hillstar site. We changed it to identify with the school's student council site, and to give a fresh start to the Hillstar-Multiply online scene. ^_^ We'll be posting polls, updates, and features frequently. Start adding! ^_^

Sorry kung dagdag ako sa traffic ng Multiply.

2008-07-15T01:11:00.000+08:00

Na matters of no consequence ang naboblog ko. But this is my writer's lifeline. ^_^

Recap of yesterday(because I am now up in the wee hours of the morning dahil hindi ko makayang hindi instantly matulog pagdating ko sa bahay):

Physics. Notes. Pagsabing Mini-AVR, takot kaagad kami. AVR means virtual teachers. Pagdating pa namin dun nakaset-up na si Ma'am virtual teacher (Mrs Bernido ba yun??? Eeeeeeee!!!!!.). Nakahinga kami nung si Sir Desi yung nagsalita. Boring ang pagkarelay ko, pero sobrang suspense yun!!! :)) Hindi ba pwedeng si Sir Desi na lang ang manood tapos siya na lang magturo???

Math. Nosebleed. Sobra. Babahiin na kami, Sir Oca. At kahit corny, hinahanap-hanap namin yung jokes mo, at hindi lang dahil kay Dio. ^_^

English. Me on the way to AVR: "How am I supposed to deliver a speech in 5 minutes that never existed???"

TLE. Sorry Sir John. Hate mo na kamiiiiii??? At paano ba talaga yung freaking timer na yun??? (Marami kasi kaming na-late. Dapat kapag after lunch ang subject mo, bago maglunch nakapagannounce ka na kung hindi sa expected classroom kayo magkaklase.)

Chinese. Quiiiiiiz. Si Fu lao shi pala Chinese adviser ng Hillstar??? Yesssss!!!

Recess. Pumunta ako ng faculty kasama si Sam and Elle. Hindi si Ma'am Cathy ang nakita ko kundi si Aldwin. Tago naman ako. Biglang pagsabi ko ng "Haaay salamat" sa may stairs andun lang pala sa likod ko. Why do I always feel like he pushes me around na he looks out for me na HINDI KO MAINTINDIHAN???

Filipino. Sabayang pagbigkas. I so love my group!!! :))

CE. The best ang report nina Besprrrn, thanks to Marlu's movie editing skills. Pinakamataas na rating na nabigay ko so far, ang laki ng bawi sa visual aids and delivery. ^_^

Hillstar meeting. Ano ba naman yung 5 o maybe even 10 minutes late pa dahil alam kong busy kaming lahat, pero yung ang meeting 5:05 tapos nagsidatingan ng 5:30, nakakabagot na yun. Anyway, at least meron nang ground rules. Alam nilang mabait ako, pero maarte sa paghingi ng article. At pambihira, kaya pala hindi pa na-scan yung Tshirt design ay dahil lang hindi alam ni Maam Cathy kung paano, habang hindi na malaman ni Therese kung anong gagawin. ^_^

Kung magcomment ka sa post na to, kawawa ka naman. Wala na bang ibang nagpopost sa Multiply inbox mo? :))

♥

2008-07-13T01:11:00.000+08:00

There should never be a hesitation to love.

"Crap," I went. My magic pencil rolled and fell and the newly replaced lead just smashed into smithereens. Checking if the comfort room floor was dirty, which it wasn't thanks to my favorite lovely smiling manang, I picked it up. Sam was doing her routine vanity run-through in front of the mirror.

It came like a stab. A cry, like the bad ones that sounded like hiccups, rose from one of the cubicles behind me. I caught Sam's eyes on the mirror, and hers reflected my horrored look.

Each breath came jaggedly. And like the stab as it came, it continued to advance deeper and deeper until I felt as miserable as if I could be smothered in tears as well. I was stunned. I couldn't think. I wanted to help, but I didn't know how to.

Sam peeked. She saw little feet. She told me so. I couldn't move.

"Do you want to call the guidance?" I heard her whisper, her softened voice thinning as it passed my thoughts and penetrated my mind. I immediately sped at the option. I almost forgot Sam following closely at heel; in fact, I couldn't recall being with her until after we had told Maam Irene and she went for the girl, and we went for our Econ quiz.

Getting there, on the way to my seat, I passed by a friend. His face was drawn horribly, his face seemed older and of many difficulties. I couldn't bear to look. I asked if he was okay, but the mandatory answer didn't do justice to the evidence.

As I sat down, I felt the Bible in my bag, poking at my side, and at my heart.

How did these people get on without the Lord? How many of these people lock themselves up and cry in secret, how many of these people try to remove themselves from the world and wish themselves away? To whom did they tell they of their pain, and who or what takes it away?

No one.

Cold crept through my skin, not by the blast of the humming airconditioning. I felt like I carried a burden that I knew did not have my name on it, but I knew was mine. It was the charge of Christ: to love.

I told a friend about it. I explained how I felt that in place of the burden of my trials, when I had been so carefree from my troubles (this was right after I reported for the dreaded Filipino), I was made to go on, carrying the suffering of the world. I relished the thought of living for Christ, for having His compassion move in me. But the pain was insufferable, eating me up inside. She stared blankly. Her confusion confused me.

"Bakit ka naman naaapektuhan, eh hindi naman ikaw yung nasasaktan?" (Why are you so affected, when you're not the one who's hurt?)

The words stoked the fire inside, moving my compassion for others to almost hate for her. What manner of people live without fear of the Lord! What emptiness, what obsolescence, to not know of love and selflessness. I knew at that moment that they never felt pain in the presence of superficial and worldly necessities, but when moved by the Spirit to trial they become consumed. I couldn't answer. I didn't dare, for fear of wrath. I turned away.

At that moment I knew I was to answer to the pain of each person around, for my knowing of love, and thus the need to share it. ♥

Ssshhhh.

2008-07-11T20:49:00.000+08:00

I should be sleeping. It is almost 4 hours after my "bedtime". After three calluses, uncountable lead dust, innumerable repeats of every song on my shuffled playlist, and eight pages of a Physics lab report, I can finally sleep. Wakey-wakey pa ~~bukas~~ mamaya nang 6.

...kung mali lahat nang nalagay ko dun sa papel na yun, may plus ba for the effort??? :))

TGIF is so passe.

2008-07-11T15:48:00.000+08:00

...but so true. :D

What started as a disastrous week ended up being pretty great. I can't even tell why exactly I'm so happy. No, it's not Maam Beng's letting me report after all, nor is it the really amazing consistency of the Physics project data (I didn't expect it to be so much like we hoped it would be, which would be to make sense) that is the difference between being happy and not. :D

Look!!! See??? I ended all my past paragraphs with grinning smileys. Here I go again. :D

I think I finally completely realized that I have no reason to be unhappy when I have such a great God. :D

Ayun nanaman!!! :)) Ayan, laugh naman.

Some points of the week that I wasn't able to clearly blog about (because I was too busy ranting on about them):

-Nung Monday, hindi ako nakareport sa Filipino. Hindi ko nalagay sa CD yung Powerpoint ko dahil sa school ako gumawa, at kung sa bahay ako gumawa edi unfair and dishonest naman dahil pinagawa talaga kami sa school. So plano ko na lang buksan sa account ko yung file. Pero pumalpak at hindi mabuksan yung account ko. Ayun. Iniyakan ko yun. Pero nakareport pa rin ako kahapon, HIMALA at pinayagan ako magreport ni Maam Beng! Tapos nung nagreport na uli ako, pambihira, hindi mabuksan yung USB file. Buti na lang nag-to the rescue si Earl at nakaisip ng way mabuksan yung Powerpoint. At kinakalat niya na crush ko na daw siya. Oo na lang. I think dahil kasabay ko si ~~Iman~~ Christian (I have to train myself out of calling him by his last name) na hindi rin nakareport, for the same reason din yata, akay nakalusot akong magreport ng late.

-Nakakuha po ako ng love letter. Iniyakan ko rin yan, diba people who saw me cry??? ;) Promise talaga, alam kong ang ikinabagsak lang ng grade ko ay carelessness ko. :(( Please help me pray for that one.

-Nabanggit ni Crush aka Earl kahapon sa Chinese, at nakapansin din ako, na kahapon naka-one month na kami sa school, July 10. Dahil yun pinarecite kami ng magkasunod kung kailan ang opening of classes at kung anong date nung araw na yun.

-Nakalusot kami kay Fuuuuuu!!! Walang kaming quiz ngayon; sa Monday na. :D Pero nawala ko yung lesson :)) hahanap pa ko ng magpapahiram na mapapaphotocopy.

-Natuwa talaga ako sa kinalabasan nung Physics na project. :)) Oo, dahil consistent yung data. Kasi ba naman, kung inconsistent pa yun edi mararamdaman ko nanamang may mali akong nagawa.

Quotes from Physics classes: :)) Wag kang tumawa, Sir.

"When we have more trials, we become more precise."
-Sir Desi, about being frustrated on experiments

Kit: (nagdadabog papasok ng AVR) Sir Dessiiiiiii!!! Reyna talaga ako ng malas. Nalaglag yung ruler ko. Pahiram. (I know Sir Desi was trying to say something like, "O, bakit?" around this time, pero masyado lang talaga akong maririri, in the words of my mom)
Sir Desi: O sige, ito, o.
Kit: Thank yooouuu.
(Palabas ng AVR kasabay si Maam Luz, nagdabog pa rin)
Sir Desi: O, Kit, wag kang iiyak (I think referring to my crying over the then-yesterday's love letter episode).
Kit: Exaj ka naman, Sir. Para magpapakamatay lang.
Maam Luz: Wow, pang-Hillstar! "Editor-in-Chief, jumps off roof!)

(After three trials, we get three consistent results)
Madz: O, Kit, alin piliin natin???
Kit: Yun(Pointing to the most believable trial), kasi cute yung result!!! (Wala akong naisip na word to express precise un-hifalutin-ly.)
Alfie: (gives me weird look) Ganun pala yun. (Turns to Supan) Hey, let's find the cute data!!!

Kit: Sir, consistent yung data namin!!!
Sir Desi: O, sino nga yung babaeng laging minamalas?
Kit: Akooo. Ano ka ba naman, Sir, si Madz yung sinuswerte.
Sir Desi: Grabe mo naman pahirapan sarili mo.
Kit: (BIG GRIN)

-Dahil hindi pahuhuli ang Econ at English, nagsuper combine sila para sa aphorism. Kailangan naming gumawa ng aphorism for English, makiki-extra daw kasi kami sa mga ginawa ni Einstein. Dahil hindi namin taros yung E=mc to the second power (nakakatamad gumalaw sa posisyon ko, hawakan yung mouse at i-click yung MS Word para magcopy-paste ng exponent), at ni umisip ng sarili naming original thought yt hindi na ma-capacitate ng over-stuffed brains namin, kinuha na lang namin yung applicable-to-life Econ line:

"There are no lost oppurtunities, only oppurtunity costs."

Meron pa sana kaming gusto i-share na pang-joke time na aphorism, kaso nga lang time na nun at last kami, kaya dito ko na lang ilalagay:

"We're not emo. Hindi lang kami marunong magsuklay."

:))

-ang pagkaloka-lokang section namin ay sinubok magbrainstorm para sa Room Decorating ng Nutrition month. Ito ang ilan sa mga theme namin, among others: Spongebob, Mt Olympus, Autoshop, Operation Tifany :)) Nabring-up nanaman ang walang kamatayang Chocolate Fountain :)) na last year pa dapat kasama. We ended up na Fiesta na lang yung theme.

Dave: (on food) Ambrosia!!! Ambrosia!!!
(Ambrosia is the food of the Greek gods.)

On the board:
THEME: Fiesta (Operation Tifany) :))

-Nakadiscover kami ng splinter sa kamay ni Madz.

Kit: Hala ka, Madz. Tanggalin mo yan!!!
Madz: Bakit? Delikado ba?

Kit: (in a rush of euphoria) DUH!!! Papasok yan sa bloodstream, iaabsorb yung nutrients mo, tapos tutubo!!!
Madz: Kit!!! Talaga??? Paano ko to tatanggalin???
Kit: Punta tayo kay Nurse Jeanne!!!
(On the way) Madz: Kit, tutubo talaga to?!?
Kit: Hindi. Mapupuncture lang naman siguro yung organs mo.
Madz: KiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiTTTT!!!

-Nagdidiscuss kami ng Room Decor theme nina Keeshia at Tifany.

Tifany: Diba meron sa Spongebob na si Sandy, yung may suot na aquarium?
Kit: Aquarium mo dyan! Space suit!
Keeshia: Ano ba kayong dalawa???
Kit: Sige, ha, mag-Spongebob tayo, tapos isaksak natin tong ulo ni Tiffy sa aquarium!!!
Keesh: Tapos let's paint the classroom yellow!
Kit: Yellow??? BLUE, under the sea!!!
Keesh: Eh!!! I wanna see what it's like to live in a pineapple!!!
Kit: Waaaalaaaaa!!! BLUE! Who lives in a pineapple under the sea...

...wala na kong maisip na funny stories. :(
But that's how wacky my week went, mostly. Dagdag pa dyan yung MAPEH Prod practice day, pero may Cantata practice pa ko. :p

No Mistakes. :D

2008-07-09T18:15:00.000+08:00

We didn't classes all day.

But I think, so far, this is the most stressful day I've ever had.

I don't know how many times I have to learn, or to go through challenges and trials to refine me. But I know You have a purpose. Though I don't understand, though I can't see where all this is supposed to lead to. Though it seems like the hurting would never stop, and the troubles seems to extend on and on, You make no mistakes.

GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES*
Words and music by: Kim Moore

My life I give to you O Lord use me I pray
May I glorify your precious name
In all I do and say
Let me trust you in the valley dark
as well as in the light
Knowing you will always lead me
Your will is always right

Chorus:
I know God makes no mistakes
He leads in every path I take
along the way that’s leading me to home
Tho at times my heart would break
there’s a purpose in every change He makes
that others would see my life and know
that God makes no mistakes.

And when someday in heaven above
I see His dear face
May I then be counted faithful
as a runner in this race
Now I’m trusting in the Savior
to show me the way
In His righteousness He guides me
as I seek to please Him day by day

Chorus:
I know God makes no mistakes
He leads in every path I take
along the way that’s leading me to home
Tho at times my heart would break
there’s a purpose in every change He makes
that others would see my life
and know that God makes no mistakes

To listen to this song, my most favorite verison of this (in quite a biased way), click HERE.

Plus!!! I was reading the scriptures this Wednesday evening service when I happened to see this verse. Seven simple words resolved my day's trials.

John 3:30 - He must increase, but I must decrease.

And. I can't not put this in. Thanks to all the people to whom You shared through the medium of human love** Your own. Sa mga nagtiis sa mga pagmumukmok ko, sa mga nakinig, sa mga nagpangiti, sa mga nanlibre. :)) You know who you are. Shhh. :D

*lyrics spotted on Rej's song blog. History also: the composer's fiance ~~died~~ came home a few days before their wedding. She wrote this song as encouragement.

**the part that tells about God's love through the medium of human love is from Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maude Montgomery. The phrasing was perfect. ♥

Traffic and Invincibility.

2008-07-07T16:33:00.000+08:00

Cool. Ganito pala ka-traffic dito sa Multiply pag ganitong oras. Ginagawa nang chatroom ang mga comment board.

Heaaaaaavy day. Remember that if you think you got it bad today, you have to smile because I still am, and if you got it bad, you can say I had it horrible.

Physics: Darts. Super talo talaga ako dun. Wala akong laban sa precision at accuracy athletically.

Math: Bakit kapag mababa ang score ko, hindi nagrerequiz??? Pero pag mababa sa kanila lahat tapos yun yung kung kailan mataas yung sakin, SAKA magrerequiz...para siguro bumaba ulit ang score ko at maretain ang circle of life na hindi na talaga ako titino sa school... :p

Filipino: Ask my batchmates. Hindi ko na talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko. :((

TLE: Sir Joooooohn!!! ANO YUN?!?!?!

Chinese: Ayun. Ang cute talaga ni Fu lao shi.

English: Sobrang pissed na natatawa pa rin si Maam Hazel.

CE: BAKIT BA TUMATAHIMIK PAG AKO NAGSASALITA?!?!?! GANUN BA KO KABORING, NA NATITGOK NA LAHAT KAAGAD SA ANTOK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Ayun, sabi ni Tif mataas daw yung nakita niyang grades namin. Haaaay, salamat natapos na yun.

Somewhere along the funny lines of the day, I cried, screamed, prayed. The world tilted on its head, and everything was upside down. I couldn't make sense of the things happening around me, the things I became, and why. Somewhere deep down I wanted to give it up and hide away. And right I don't know how to undo my problems, and I have no idea where to go from there. But I remembered faith, and how last night I knelt at the altar and yielded to His presence. I can't believe how many times I can be uplifted by the Lord. Not just my blog can record it; I see it everyday, when I smile instead of cry, pray instead of complain, believe instead of worry. I am moved to miracles within myself, and I have moved mountains' worth of miracles.

I can't believe how horribly devastated my day was, and yet I still have a Reason to smile, a Reason to live. The Reason why I am invincible against all odds. :D

Hillstar Seminar-Workshop

2008-07-05T17:49:00.000+08:00

I am so proud of that seminar!!! A lot of glitches went on in the plan throughout the whole organizing it. Even the proposal was tough. And though it might not have gone as perfectly as planned, we at least reached our goal: introduce journalism to students, add staffers, and encourage potentials. I'm really glad people keep telling me they learned lots of stuff and that they're challenged and they think its fun and they want to keep on doing Hillstar. :D

I joined the News seminar, in between running in and out to check on the others and take pictures of all the classes. I learned a lot; I had written some news articles before, though I really am a feature writer by nature. More than the basics and the gist of it, I got a lot of pointers to help me.

All the feedback I keep getting from other classes were good; everyone was saying how much they learned and how much fun they had. :D

I also learned that I am a horrible photographer. I always miss the exact second that captures the moment and captivates the eye. Need practice.

Home.

2008-07-03T17:42:00.000+08:00

All this time I keepsoming across stuff that reminds me of home. I miss it, really miss it a lot.

The sharp morning cold that snaps at your cheeks.

The puto Binan always amiss in busy streets and sidewalks, often ignored but when sought for, priceless.

Mga 7-11!!! Wala nun dito.

The psychedelic haze of the skies in Laguna at dawn and twilight is like no other.

I miss the narra tree outside, in our lot, that used to shower little yellow blossoms every summer as thick as snow.

I miss our house, with the windows everywhere. I remember the doorway that had no door from the dining room to the "pantry", where my brother and I measured our heights against, where we could see how much we've grown. But I know I've grown in more ways than a concrete wall can tell me.

I miss the paving blocks on the drive through.

I miss going out into neighborhood and find a hundred smiling familiar faces everywhere I turn. I miss those people.

The sight of the subdivision from the SLEX(yes, you can see our subdivision from SLEX!).

Going out at night to eat at the mall-like gasoline stations.

The metro a few kilometers away.

Sitting on the sidewalk. House hopping around the subdivision ;).

Old friends I grew up with. Family a thousand miles away. Old friends unreachable. Family worlds away.

And who I was. ^_^

A long yet profound post. Beware.

2008-07-01T17:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I learned of God's peace happiness.

Today, the lesson was put to the test.

A lot went wrong. I felt so ridiculous and stupid during my morning classes.

I wanted to beat myself up for those conversions at Physics, I felt so stupid, conversion pa lang yun and I couldn't even get those right, so paano na kaya pag pumasok na yung mga theories and formulas???

I was so frustrated about never getting "high enough" scores in Math all since the start of lessons, so unlike my classmates, to whom getting perfect scores is such a norm and getting one mistake depresses them. I'm like the duckling among them, never as brilliant as any of them. I never seem to make it out on grades. Minsan ako pa nga yung pinakaunang makakaintindi ng lesson, pero ako pa rin yung mababa sa quiz at seatwork. Biruin mo ba naman, sa Math, there was this time na tinanungan pa ako ni Danson (resident Math genius besides Dio) dahil hindi niya maintindihan yung lesson. Huwaw, right? But somehow, the time when it's supposed to matter, namely, grading, that's when I fail myself. Kahit pag mag-aral ako, lagi na lang akong may mali. Pikon na talaga ako sa sarili ko. I was really upset and kept fighting back tears; I didn't let anyone notice.

Pati sa English. Ako yata yung pinakamababa dun sa quiz.

Entrep, we were made to choose to have only one: Beauty, Wealth, Knowledge, Popularity, Marriage, Great Family, Confidence, Power...and I chose none. I knew I shouldn't settle my affections of worldly things. Aside from me, there was one other person who didn't join, and I wonder whom. Chinese, okay lang din. Filipino, late yung inspiration para sa poem, but I was pleased with my work. Econ, ditto. I have the nagging feeling my barkada is falling apart, and I can't deny that it bothers me. Plus, it was just last week that I doubted if I could ever pull off Hillstar.

I kept telling myself through the whole day that this was God's chastening, because He loves me. That this was my thorn in the flesh, to keep me from glorying in myself. That those things were light affliction compared to what Christ suffered for me. That God's grace was sufficient, and that he sends more strength, love and comfort as the afflictions increase. These were all verses I went through on my devotions that morning, and they kept me sane, though on the edge, sane as in keeping me from doubting God. I was so thankful I was armed with those few words, yet in those moments they meant the world to me.

And then I realized: all these were more than just a test; it was an answered prayer.

I didn't ask God to make me miserable, obviously. But I did ask Him to take away my pride (see last week's posts), to continue refining me, to be made weak that I may glory in His presence in me (II Cor 12:9-10). And this morning, to keep me safe, when I opened my Bible, it opened to this chapter that I outlined as my "pride lesson" in Proverbs, and I read it through. I now realize I was given provision for my test, and the best test He did give by striking me at my core, my studies, my pride of mind. And when I couldn't go any further and learned what I needed to learn, He gave me comfort through the people around me, who loved me and looked out for me, and His own direct comforting me, by bringing to my consciousness not to curse the Lord, but to remember His words and have them spoken to me, in my heart, when and where I needed to have it the most.

He walks with me, and talks with me every single day, just as if I could see Him and touch Him and hear Him like anybody else.

And He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own. And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.
-In the Garden, Miles Austin

Filled.

2008-06-30T17:13:00.000+08:00

Alam mo bang wala nang Powdered Filled Milk sa world??? Alaska na lang, kaya yun na lang binibili namin. Kasi lahat na ng gatas ngayon, Pwdered Milk drink. Hindi daw yun healthy: masyado nang processed, para nang juice. Ewww. Hindi totoo. Hindi mo na masabing "galing sa dodo ng cow!" --UCare Commercial. SERYOSO. Dontcha remember that statement?

This day is super filled with bloggables. So many, in fact, that there's too many and I forgot most of them. They're small stuff, maybe, but they appeal to me so profoundly and keep reminding me how lovely life is.

I started out with storing up laugh lines in my head. Sa dami ba naman, eh, hindi ko na talaga maalala. I have one left in my mind, however, that I'd be happy to share.

Bumili ako ng dalawang order ng Pizza Hut tig-49 pesos, so 4 pieces.Naisipan ko na...
-baka gusto nina Mama ng food dahil pagod na kami lahat sa shopping (sa supermarket, hindi luxury shopping), OR
-baka gusto nilang uwian si Kiwi ng food, OR
-...baka gusto nilang ipakan na lang sakin. :))
...sinubukan ko na alng dahilanan...

Mama: Dalawa lang sayo ha, DALAWA LANG. Kilala kita, pag yang pizza...
Ako: Di bale, mahal naman ako ni Kiwi...
Mama: Hindi sa ngalan ng pagkain.
Ako: BWAHAHAHA.

Having lost to both justice and wit, I gave up. Pag ako, nakabili ng Pizza Hut...HINDI AKO MAMIMIGAY!!!

I don't know. Everytime, I saw something that interested me, I would tell myself "ha, ibo-blog ko to!!!". I would even start lining up my words, the perfect description for how I saw that thing that exact moment. But I would be so absorbed in this, I wuld completely forget paying attention to everything else. Including remembering the last other thing I wanted to blog about.

I see hazy pictures and words in my head. I saw a naughty kid in a buzz cut and his head looked like a speckled milky crystal ball; the trees that were newly trimmed, and I felt as sad as if my own hair had been shorn; my imitating a weird little first grader, in alien/mummy invasion hands sabay tirik mata; the "rush of endorphines"(our other word for happy, according to Madz) as I started getting inquiries from people who wanted to join Hillstar, and my squealing and jumping around; tripping and slipping and laughing; my friends, my family, my God, and the life He gave me: all I'm very thankful for, and what words would fail to submit to mean what I mean. A very great sum up of my last day of June.

Dahil FILLED ang buhay ko. Hindi ako parang powdered milk drink na nakigaya sa iba, napalitan na lahat ng essence. Di tulad nila na wala nang sinusundang prinsipyo sa buhay. Powder Filled Milk yata ako. :p

At para madagdagan ang mga post na napagtripan, special mention si Joel Maglantay. :))

PS. Super seryoso na super joketime talaga tong post na to. Sorry ha. Na-rush of endorphines ako. ;p

:p

2008-06-28T09:41:00.000+08:00

Bakit dito sa Multiply bawal magpost ng blog na walang title???

Anyway, I was reading our El Fili book before lunch so I can get a grip on the facts I need for reporting, dahil sa school kami pinapagawa ng Powerpoint ng dalawang meeting lang sa pagkabagal-bagal na internet. Nung Thursday, nag-try ako, pero siguro under pa ko sa influence ng gamot o something, parang nabuhol-buhol yung words at walang nagmake-sense sa kin sa libro at hanggang characters lang ang nagawa ko. Medyo nagets ko nung naghanap ako nung buod sa net, pero malabo pa rin kasi buod nga lang, and the thing with Rizal is yung small details yung may meaning.

So ayun nga, nagbasa nga ako.

I got woozy from trying to understand.

The book might as well have been written in German. It was so, in lack of other words to equivalent it, unintelligently written. The grammar was always out of place that you couldn't get the meaning. Ang labo basahin. Walang essence of Rizal. Mas maganda pa yung last year naming libro--mahaba, detalyado at hifalutin yung words pero naman!

--...Ratting out my frustrations. >.<

Faith, trust, and pixie dust. ;)

Last, promise.

I learned something.

A Higher Call

We Are Called to Make a Difference

Double dutch on the concrete

Oh.

Why?

...

Inspiration.

Something from my journal.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Inspired.

Inspired: The 50 Things/terms only DCHS students would understand.

I'm crying.

Ooops. I lied. ...and, Summer To-Do List.

I realized. Then I resolve.

SENIORS. You need to read this.

So-Yeung: Rite of Passage

I.am.GRADUATING.today.

Get out.

NSPC. Moo.

Eeengk.

Lame, but this is my Valentines post. :p

Van, you started this one. ;p

Van, you started this one. ;p

I grabbed this from Rie, a blogspot linkie. Hearts, gurl.

I grabbed this from Rie, a blogspot linkie. Hearts, gurl.

I grabbed this from Rie, a blogspot linkie. Hearts, gurl.

Guess who's hoOome?

Kitty miss bloggie 3 - I’m laughing now, and I don’t know why.

Kitty miss bloggie 2

Top 20 Signs You're Watching a Pinoy Movie

Good morning, 16.

4 minutes...

Bizarre. Oh, no.

Rainy days, gloomy skies.

Rainy days, gloomy skies.

Senior Year, or, A Day in My Shoes.

BUZZ!!! Please answer this question, emergency!!!

Surprise.

It's October.

Quotes.

Ditties. Fevers. Make-up Exams.

Survey. I love surveys. :D

Nerdcore goes Online.

I love Chico. That's why.

THAT Monday.

THAT Monday.

Speechfest 08 - Lessons.

Speechfest 08 - Nerdcores Go Hardcore.

Speechfest 08

09/12. 21.

Read. Write. Edit. [LONG. Very.]

:D

Inspiration?

P.S. Hindi yan boypren-boypren. :))

A survey from Rod on Friendster. ;)

Nag-absent. :D

SURVEY, guys. Please and thank you.

Draining 42 minutes.

Timing, Destiny and Haruki Murakami on the 100% Perfect Girl.

Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning

Kadayawan Time :D

You should know by now that you can never shut me up.

My take on Koko Crunch and kids. And oh yeah, Sir Oca humor.

So that's what's happening to the long-awaited Hillstar issue.

Senioritis and Blogaholic Tales. :p

Made Memories.

Rockstars. :))

08-08-08

Basta, eto yung blogpost about UPCAT. :))

Basta, eto yung blogpost about UPCAT. :))

*.*

Flash, Bam, Alakazam.

Flash, Bam, Alakazam.

Vocab words, Math teacher humor, atbp.

:'(

[SHRIEK]

Ehehehe.

.